mercoledì 9 agosto 2017

The Adventure of Bill the Moth.

There are thought to be approximately 160,000 species of moth and most species of moth are nocturnal. Most species have their own dialect - a sort of put together language called Mothese, moths say 'fuck' a lot and light really messes with their navigational equipment. Moths say 'fuck' the most when a light bulb has muddled their radar and they find themselves trapped in something like a bathroom with only a small window gap as their escape route.


When moths come out at night, they fly around looking for food. This search for food and mating are the only noteable adventures that moths really have. They don't generally sing, or play instruments or read books. They don't have any hobbies.
A lot of moths die because of bright lights from houses. These lights often result in moths being trapped inside. Obviously, when you are trapped, the tendency is to panic. It's pretty well impossible to get our and home safely when some huge light is totally mucking up your navigational system. It's like coming home really pissed and hoping that no one will notice. Well, a little like that, but really quite different. Sorry, that was a bad example.
Moths basically eat healthy, mainly because things like hamburgers, fish and chips and pies are too big for them and a little hard to come by.
I will now tell the Adventure of Bill the Moth* in his own words. Sorry, but it's not really much of an adventure and has a sad ending.


Okay, I'm heading out now to check out food. It's okay mum, I'll certainly keep away from bright lights. Especially near the human town. Yes mum, I'll try to watch my language. Remember that I am the equivalent age of a twenty year old human now. I'm not a cacoon anymore.
Wow, there are lots of insects out tonight. I wonder why a lot of them seem to be heading for that yellow thing? Wow, it's fascinating! I'm getting pretty close - better be careful.
Bong!
Ouch, what did I hit? I really didn't see that coming. You can see through it, but it stops you flying. Hang on, there's a gap up there. That yellow thing is certainly worth checking out.
Oh fuck! It's a huge light bulb!
Fuck! Where am I?
There's no human toilet so I don't think it's a bathroom. Hang on, that's a human bed. Fuck, better get out quick!
I'll try to smash through the wall you can see through.
Bong!
Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! 
Maybe if I just head up to the yellow thing?
Swish!
Fuck! There's a human kid in here and he's waving a magazine around. Funny looking magazine, it's getting so close that I could almost read it. Seems to have lots of pictures of female humans with no clothes on. What's he up to? He's too young to be mating.
Swish!
Fuck! That was close! Got to get out of here! Will try to smash through that clear wall.
Bong! Bong! 
Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! 
Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! 
No way, it's too hard. Fuck! Got to find another way.
Swish! Swish!
Gotta keep flying!
Thwop!







* his one and only adventure

4 commenti:

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Thath the moth interething potht you've written for thome time.

Robert ha detto...

The moth rested. A gentle scent came to it's acute smell organs.
"Female" it thought.
It became like a moth obsessed.
Seeking here and there until the most beautiful bug imaginable fluttered before its many eyes.
Despite its attempts to mate it was unwittingly deceived by a plant that had a flower with basic parts like a female moth.

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

Good you both had your say. Like therapy.

Robert ha detto...

yes