mercoledì 28 febbraio 2018

Robert and the Disappearing Blog.

Check out Robert's blog (use our LINKS service) and there's about a 50% chance that you'll see this...


All posts deleted

You've got to give it to Robert for one reason - it confuses the shit out of The Curmudgeon.
The Curmudgeon's first question is always, "Who upset Robert?"

What he fails to understand is that Robert operates his blog like any good Roman Catholic should.
He simply follows a series of steps:
  1. He writes a post.
  2. He reads it and realises that, like anything touched by original sin, it is not perfect.
  3. He confesses his sin (of writing an imperfect post).
  4. He receives absolution by deleting the post.
A sign was offered to The Curmudgeon a few years back when he wrote his now famous post about a chair blowing over.


He claimed to have survived a storm. A storm where a piece of outside furniture blew over.
Well, I have news for The Curmudgeon...

THAT'S NOT MUCH OF A STORM!

If The Curmudgeon were a man of God he would have seen his sin of writing a post about basically nothing and deleted it.

This sort of post happens quite frequently at The Curmudgeon Inc. We, at The Bass Bagging Hexagram, have a built in safety device against writing pointless posts or erring on religious matters.

He's called Angry Jesus.

Angry Jesus
All those Curmudgeons need to make more regular visits to Angry's blog. That way they might be saved. At least we readers would be saved from pointless blog posts.

martedì 27 febbraio 2018

Long week at Nuova Lazio High School.



It is proving to be a long week.

I've got work at La Scuola di ragazze di Roma next week.

BLISS!



lunedì 26 febbraio 2018

Richard of Richard's Bass Bag* Returns.

Shelley took the Batmobile to new
speeds to get me back for this post.

Okay, I'm back from a place called Wai-iti. It's a little place just past another little place with the unfortunate name Urenui (sounds like urine), which is about 40km north of New Plymouth.


Wai-iti. The toilet wasn't on the main grid but it worked well.


Another shot of Wai-iti.

On Saturday we went down to New Plymouth and had a guided tour around the Len Lye gallery.


You can take selfies in the reflection
of the building.


Here's a closer range one that
shows off my shorts'


The guy who we were visiting (in Wai-iti) is a fire chief at a volunteer station in New Plymouth.
We all got to have a ride in a fire engine. I waited 65 years for this experience.


I'm not in the picture because I'm taking the photo, but
I really did ride in the fire engine.

Back in Wai-iti I was careful to keep my practice up.


I have a few violin gigs on the horizon.

Talking of horizons, I took this amazing photo before knocking back a few more Chardonays.




On the way home we stopped for a slightly late breakfast and I had a piece of fish and some chips - I knew this was a mistake.
We got as far as Patea before it became obvious that I needed a toilet...

NOW!

Patea is a sleepy little place on a Sunday. There's not much open.
No museum or library or classy pub serving brunch - these are the first places you seek out when you desperately need a toilet.

Nice monument but not much help.
Shelley spotted a public toilet on the main road - I don't know its name (the street, not the toilet). It is probably called Main St.
To my delight the toilet was clean and contained both paper and soap for the clean up. It even had paper towels for the final stage - hand drying.

I will always feel grateful to the good people of Patea for supplying such a good facility for a desperate traveller.

I'm back at school this week, but with a much better understanding of Len Lye and what the different coloured hats that firemen wear mean. I also know that they refer affectionately to the fire engine as the pump. Isn't that sweet!






* the original bass bagging site

giovedì 22 febbraio 2018

Ho intenzione di...



A settembre 24 inizierò un viaggio molto importante. Ho intenzione di arrivare in Italia a settembre 26 in Milano. Il prossimo giorno ho intenzione di affittare una macchina. Un Peugeot di Francia. Zoom, zoom – guida a destra! Guiderò a Cremona e Monteforte d’Alpone, vicino  a Verona. Visiterò anche Firenze, Ladispoli vicino a Roma, e Altamura vicino a Bari. Sarà un viaggio molto importante. Lascerò l'Italia a ottobre 31. Arrividerci Italia, ma rimarrà nel mio cuore. “Questo è maledittamente certo.” Per citare Jack Reacher.

The Curmudgeon goes too far when he challenges the authenticity of Richard's Bass Bag.*

This man has gone too far!

Dear much loved readers (except for The Curmudgeon), your favourite blog has been slighted.
The Curmudgeon (one of many Curmudgeons at The Curmudgeon Inc.) writes,
"And, while we're here I contest that "original bass bagging site" claim. Wasn't there some guy by the name of Ben or Ken who created the original. Maybe the Curmudgeon's Inc. coud 'fact check' that."

I think he's talking about a site (not a blog) called Ken's Corner. There are quite a few bass sites on the internet, there may be some blogs too for all I know.
Richard's Bass Bag* is unique in that it invented the concept of bass bagging.
Bass bagging is a coloquial term that was invented right here on this blog. You won't find a definition in the Oxford Dictionary.
It's like when an Italian says, "A mia volta."
This literally means in my turn but, to an Italian, it has subtle overtones.

Bass bagging is a term with subtle hidden meanings.
Bass bagging:
  • To do things that bring safety to basses (putting a double bass in a bag to take it somewhere).
  • Telling tales about basses or other instruments that Richard (of RBB) plays.
  • 'Bagging' someone (in a big bag, big enough for a double bass) for talking nonsense.
  • Telling humerous tales - throwing ideas into the bag.

Any explanation of bass bagging is
going to be complicated.

Any explanation of bass bagging is going to be complicated and I think The Curmudgeon realises that. In reality he is simply trying to cover up his mistake in reference to who can use the Prowse surname.

Richard Prouse Park in Nuova Lazio.

Okay The Curmudgeon, in his desperate to save face moment, will notice the spelling of the park's name - Prouse instead of Prowse. In actual fact these two spellings were often interchanged in past times. No big deal.


A big deal.

We at Richard's Bass Bag* take huge pride in the traditions that this blog has created. We find The Curmudgeon's comment offensive and WE DEMAND AN APOLOGY!







* the original bass bagging site

mercoledì 21 febbraio 2018

The Curmudgeon Inc. In Trouble!



So The Curmudgeon* questioned the naming of some 'more far reaching' Prowses. 
He basically questioned if these people might be McDonalds or maybe of Hungarian descent.





Robert struck back on his blog  (before deleting it) and said that these were indeed genuine Prowses.
Robert detailed the journey from other names to the Prowse label.

Will The Curmudgeon Inc. apologise?

We will keep you informed on the original bass bagging site.








* Leader of The Curmudgeon Inc.

The Storm Has Passed.

I'm talking about Gita, not The Curmudgeon and Robert's little spat last night.
(deleted to calm them down)

When an outside chair blows over, just pick it up and carry on.
I'm sorry to hear that other areas of the country weren't so lucky with the storm.

I have a late start this morning because I have no class period one. That means I can roll into Nuova Lazio High at about 10.15. That also means that there will be some time for violin practice.

Ho intenzione prendere il mio violino in Italia.
I'm thinking of taking my violin with me to Italy. As you can see, I have a very good case and I could take it onboard when we fly.


It would need looking after as we travel around - that's the down side - but then I could say I've played my violin in Italy.*

The other option would be to buy a cheap guitar over there. 
We'll see.

Shelley and I are off to a place near New Plymouth on Friday and I hear that it might be out of internet range. We will return on Sunday.
I've decided to leave The Curmudgeon in charge while I am away but here are a few rules to keep him in line:
  1. No fighting with Robert.
  2. Keep your posts as interesting as you can.
  3. Try to give as many Curmudgeons as possible a go at posting.
  4. No posts about outside furniture blowing over.
  5. Worship The Bass Bagging Hexagram by leaving a few comments.

Ciao.







* Am I just a wee bit of a wanker?

sabato 17 febbraio 2018

Saturday Morning Live At Richard's Bass Bag.*

Richard (of RBB): Welcome back to the bag and welcome to another edition of Saturday Morning Live At Richard's Bass Bag!* I'm very pleased to welcome back my two regular guests Angry Jesus...
[cheering and clapping]


...and Bin Hire!
[louder cheering and clapping]


Bin Hire: Thank you, it's great to be back.
Angry Jesus: Where's the coffee?
Richard (of RBB): Coming right up AJ, we've got Different Time Zone Bill working in the kitchen. He's had a bit of a rough time lately, what with that nonsense with The Curmudgeon Inc. and his blog being very quiet. He does zone around a bit when he should be making coffee but we've got The The The Guy helping out to give him some moral support.
[The The The Guy pokes his head into the studio. He has three coffees on a tray]

The The The Guy: The The The coffee's The The ready. Sorry The The it took The The The The so long The The but Different Time The The The The Zone Bill The The buggered off The The just as the The The water boiled The The.
Angry Jesus: [to Bin Hire] I can never understand this guy. He might as well be talking Italian!
[coffee is served]


Bin Hire: Talking about Italian Richard (of RBB), how's the planning for your trip going?
Richard (of RBB): Good thanks Bin. I go in and pay for the car, the flights and some other stuff on Monday. I'm putting in a lot of time on my Italian.
So, what's happening around the blogs?
Angry Jesus: Well Robert, one of mine, has a blog called 'Do Not Send Feedback'. I've noticed that no one has. The Curmudgeon seems to have copied him a bit because he started telling a story and then didn't. These are strange times in the blogging community. We need baxter to show up and sort these pricks out.


Baxter

[the audience gets very excited as, unexpectedly, Baxter walks into the studio]

Richard (of RBB): Welcome Baxter. This is quite a surprise for everyone!
Baxter: Thank you. I don't make make many appearances on shows like this but it's hard to turn My Lord and Saviour down. I've left my sword by the door because sometimes, when I get a bit excited, I tend to solve problems rather quickly.
Richard (of RBB): Good idea. Well, it's great to have you here.
Bin Hire: Are you still updating The Book of Baxter?
Baxter: Yes, I'm going to sort out all this evolution nonsense. It's important to understand that God made everything. Oh, and thanks for the sword God.
Angry Jesus: Yeah, and just for the record, Dad made bananas too.
Bin Hire: Better tell that to The Fill In When There's Really Nothing To Say Curmudgeon.
Richard (of RBB): Well, times moving on and I have some planning to do for the big Italian trip, so I'm going to wrap it up there.
Angry Jesus: This is a bit like that The Curmudgeon post where nothing really happens.
Richard (of RBB): Well, that seems to be the new way with blogging. It has been a blast having you all here. Thanks to my guests and enjoy your Saturday.

[guests chat as theme music and credits come up]



Example of a talk show ending.






* the original bass bagging site

giovedì 15 febbraio 2018

A New Post From 'The Fill In When There's Really Nothing To Say Curmudgeon"


HOW TO EMPTY A LETTERBOX.

Where people often go wrong with emptying a letterbox is that they don't realise that there is an entrance and an exit - neither goes in and out or out and in.


There is a slit facing the road where letters, newspapers and junk mail can be inserted. Watch out for overcrowding!
Here's the tricky part. On the other side (not shown in the picture above) there is a little door where you can retrieve things.
When you understand the entrance and exit thing it's really pretty straight forward. Before assembling your letterbox in place, it is a good idea to set it up in your livingroom and have a few practice runs.

mercoledì 14 febbraio 2018

A New Post From 'The Fill In When There's Really Nothing To Say Curmudgeon"

THE PARTS OF A BANANA


"Some people think that a banana is just a yellow thing with white stuff in the middle.


In actual fact there is much more to a banana.


Well, check that out! What a complicated fruit when you really get to know it! So, next time you're enjoying a banana, spare a thought for how complicated and interesting it really is."


Introducing 'The Fill In When There's Really Nothing To Say Curmudgeon'.

"Hi, I'm the latest addition to The Curmudgeon Inc. stable and, because I'm such a special Curmudgeon, The Curmudgeon has jacked it up so that I can introduce myself on Richard'as Bass Bag.* Well, they have got much more readers than us."


The Fill In When There's Really Nothing To Say Curmudgeon

"Yes, I give my permission 
for him to appear here."

"I've just finished my first post - HERE - and I have many wonderful ideas for posts. Here are a few I'm working on:
  • Watching the tides go in and out.
  • How often people move when they are sleeping - in real time.
  • Growing cabbages.
  • The life cycle of a turnip.
  • 15 things you can do with snake droppings.
  • Do shadows obstruct the sun's power?
  • The parts of a banana.
  • How to measure rectangular things.
  • How to empty a letterbox.
I guess I first got interested in blogging when I read a post by The Curmudgeon about a very bad storm he experienced up north. It came to a nail biting conclusion when an outside chair was blown over. I try to use this wonderfully exciting post as my inspiration when I'm thinking up posts. I think it is fair to say that so far it is working for me. I'll obviously be showing up on The Curmudgeon's blog, but I may post a few here as well. Sit back and enjoy."






* the original bass bagging site

martedì 13 febbraio 2018

Easy Ridin' Papa.

Easy Ridin' Papa - HERE.

The PBs do a version of this called Easy Ridin' Bros from Wellington.





Funnily enough I heard it when I was listening to Radio 24 Italia yesterday on the way to work.
I'd always known that Chris had adapted this song, so no surprise there. However, Robert probably doesn't know that and will probably write a comment to have a bit of a dig at the PBs. Then The Curmudgeon will expect Robert's blogs to disappear. I'll say nothing, I'll just watch and see what happens. What they will write, as comments, could be called an 'Aversion'.

Yes, I am working, and in these hot, muggy conditions.
There is a lot of daily relief teaching available and it seems silly not to take what is on offer. So, at the moment, I'm sort of working full time again.

Off to do some violin practice now.

domenica 11 febbraio 2018

Sunday update.

Good morning fans of the bag.


I spent an afternoon filling up Bin's bin yesterday.


Bin as viewed from our kitchen. The bin, not Bin.

I always finish up with lots of cuts on my arms when I do this type of work. Yesterday I got a beauty on my leg while I was in the bin trampling vegetation down. I guess I shouldn't have worn shorts.

Last night I backed a singer at a party. I played guitar and violin. One lady said that the violin made her cry. I said sorry.


PBs practice this afternoon. We have a gig at a book launch in March.

The Curmudgeons are all in Auckland. It seems that they go everywhere together because when one is away nobody posts.

Members of The Curmudgeon Inc seen in Auckland.

The Boss Curmudgeon is always getting at Robert for deleting his blogs, but at least Robert doesn't regularly pack everyone up and bugger off to Auckland.

I'm back relief teaching. Two days last week and so far three days lined up for the coming week.

I spent some time reading up on flying.



For years I have not been keen on flying, but In September I will be doing a bloody lot of it.
I decided to do some research so that I can get over it. I'm reading up on how planes fly.
Here's an interesting fact - in developed countries, the odds of crashing are 1 in 30 million. I don't know how they worked that out. I'll have to check its accuracy.

There you have it. Richard's Bass Bag* likes to keep you up to date. Unlike The Curmudgeon Inc we don't just pack up and bugger off to Auckland. Okay, we are buggering off to Italy in September but we're hoping it will be business as usual, obviously with a slight Italian style. We're presently looking at setting up a temporary studio in Italy. We'll keep you posted on this nearer to the time.

Ciao, ciao.




* the original bass bagging site

sabato 10 febbraio 2018

Ho intenzione di essere in italian a settembre.

In September we're off to Italy.
We're flying Premium Economy.




Premium Economy seats are not cheap. It is one step up from what is referred to as 'cattle class'.
More leg room, bigger seats, less cramped. More expensive. More comfortable.
We're flying with Singapore Airlines.

It takes about 22 hours of flying to get to Italy. We'll have a night stopover in Singapore.
We land in Milano and will travel south as far a Bari. We plan to stay in smaller places (not big cities) so that we can get plenty of practice at speaking Italian.

Monteforte d'Alpone (near Verona)

venerdì 9 febbraio 2018

Where have all of Robert's blogs gone?

 Watch THIS.

Where have all of Robert's blogs gone?
Long time passing
Where have all of Robert's blogs gone?
Not that long ago.

Where have all of Robert's blogs gone?
The Curmudgeon wants to know.
When will one ever stay?
When will one ever stay?


"Where the hell are they?"

giovedì 8 febbraio 2018

A miracle in Nuova Lazio.

I looked out the window and saw the big bin in my driceway.


A picture from yesterday,
before it happened.

You can see the pile of vegetation behind it. Now the pile is inside the bin.

Rubbish in the bin.



Proof that the rubbish has gone.


Matter moving from being a problem to being taken care of by a bin.
It occured to me that this bin could be a vessel of God.
Locically, moving on from there, this would make Bin Hire Our Saviour!
He who removes the rubbish from our lives.
He who makes things clean again.

The Holy Bin Hire.

Everyone thought He was just a boy from Bahrain, but He's waiting to reveal Himself to us.
He's waiting to show us the way!

mercoledì 7 febbraio 2018

Thanks Bin.

Just a huge note of thanks to my mate Bin Hire for the great service and great price when I needed a bin.