sabato 17 febbraio 2018

Saturday Morning Live At Richard's Bass Bag.*

Richard (of RBB): Welcome back to the bag and welcome to another edition of Saturday Morning Live At Richard's Bass Bag!* I'm very pleased to welcome back my two regular guests Angry Jesus...
[cheering and clapping]


...and Bin Hire!
[louder cheering and clapping]


Bin Hire: Thank you, it's great to be back.
Angry Jesus: Where's the coffee?
Richard (of RBB): Coming right up AJ, we've got Different Time Zone Bill working in the kitchen. He's had a bit of a rough time lately, what with that nonsense with The Curmudgeon Inc. and his blog being very quiet. He does zone around a bit when he should be making coffee but we've got The The The Guy helping out to give him some moral support.
[The The The Guy pokes his head into the studio. He has three coffees on a tray]

The The The Guy: The The The coffee's The The ready. Sorry The The it took The The The The so long The The but Different Time The The The The Zone Bill The The buggered off The The just as the The The water boiled The The.
Angry Jesus: [to Bin Hire] I can never understand this guy. He might as well be talking Italian!
[coffee is served]


Bin Hire: Talking about Italian Richard (of RBB), how's the planning for your trip going?
Richard (of RBB): Good thanks Bin. I go in and pay for the car, the flights and some other stuff on Monday. I'm putting in a lot of time on my Italian.
So, what's happening around the blogs?
Angry Jesus: Well Robert, one of mine, has a blog called 'Do Not Send Feedback'. I've noticed that no one has. The Curmudgeon seems to have copied him a bit because he started telling a story and then didn't. These are strange times in the blogging community. We need baxter to show up and sort these pricks out.


Baxter

[the audience gets very excited as, unexpectedly, Baxter walks into the studio]

Richard (of RBB): Welcome Baxter. This is quite a surprise for everyone!
Baxter: Thank you. I don't make make many appearances on shows like this but it's hard to turn My Lord and Saviour down. I've left my sword by the door because sometimes, when I get a bit excited, I tend to solve problems rather quickly.
Richard (of RBB): Good idea. Well, it's great to have you here.
Bin Hire: Are you still updating The Book of Baxter?
Baxter: Yes, I'm going to sort out all this evolution nonsense. It's important to understand that God made everything. Oh, and thanks for the sword God.
Angry Jesus: Yeah, and just for the record, Dad made bananas too.
Bin Hire: Better tell that to The Fill In When There's Really Nothing To Say Curmudgeon.
Richard (of RBB): Well, times moving on and I have some planning to do for the big Italian trip, so I'm going to wrap it up there.
Angry Jesus: This is a bit like that The Curmudgeon post where nothing really happens.
Richard (of RBB): Well, that seems to be the new way with blogging. It has been a blast having you all here. Thanks to my guests and enjoy your Saturday.

[guests chat as theme music and credits come up]



Example of a talk show ending.






* the original bass bagging site

35 commenti:

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

You are pre-paying for a trip in over 6 months time? Really?

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

Yeah, special Bass Bagging Hexagram discounts apply.

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

You're crazy!
Paying so far ahead makes no sense, there will be better deals later on.
I guess relief teaching must pay a lot.

Robert ha detto...

How come Angry Jesus doesn't discuss real issues like the change to the law meaning that abortions will be easier under Labour?

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Fuck!

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

Yep, good point The Curmudgeon, abortions normally start with a fuck.

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Yes, insensitivity was one of your traits.

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

We at The Bass Bagging Hexagram strive to keep things accurate. Our rule is 'Make The Shit You Talk Fairly Accurate',

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

'Make The Shit You Talk Fairly Accurate',

The anagram of the acronym of that is FATTYSM

Are the members of The Bass Bagging Hexagram overweight, proud of it and looking to create a religion out of it?

Anonimo ha detto...

The The How did The The Robert get The The onto abortion The The?

The The The Guy

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Who knows.
He's been randomly commenting on it on my blogs too.
I put it down to 'the change of life' he's going through.

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

I think my chair on the deck will blow over in the storm that's on the way.
I'll have to do a special report on it.

At least it will be more interesting than your blog and up to date.

Robert ha detto...
Questo commento è stato eliminato dall'autore.
THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Fuck!

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

Sorry, but I'll have to add a 'fuck' too.

For some people, and I'm sorry to say this, breeding should have been given more thought.
How much commitment will we collectively give to raising this child?

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

I'm coming up to 35 years of child raising. I mourn the people who lose one along the way. Success is about luck and that is all. There is no magic formula because human life is very complicated. The Roman Catholic thing of calling abortion murder is as twisted as their preachers fucking kids. 'Before you criticise and abuse, walk a mile in my shoes.'

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

Ronald was a sailor
Who sailed upon the seas.
Ronald was a sailor who
Sniffed when'er he pleased

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Donald was a soldier
Who marched upon the land
Donald was a soldier who
When shot became unmanned

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

Benny was a pilot
Who flew above the land
Benny was a pilot
Who played in a brass band

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

20 comments. Wow, you never see that on a Curmudgeon Inc. POST!

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

9 of those comments were written by you

Robert ha detto...

Simon was a child
Safe in mother's womb;
His manner it was mild
Now dead without a tomb.

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Robert was a christian
Rabid in his belief
Robert was a christian
Who gave all bloggers grief

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

While I don't want to encourage Richard's hubris by raising the comments tall to 24 - it needs to be said that this Post is now over 2 days old.
Disappointing. Really disappointing.

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

Robert was a Christian
He loved those cross like toys
Robert was a Christian
His priests bonked little boys.

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

I'm on a roll, on a roll! My posts are so popular!

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

27 comments now! Let's go for 28!

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...
Questo commento è stato eliminato dall'autore.
Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

29 now!

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

THIRTY COMMENTS!

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

31! FANFARE!

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

Oh, but sorry, The Curmudgeon Inc. has three comments.


32 HERE!

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

33 now! Eat your heart out The Curmudgeon Inc.!

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Send me the name of that Chardonnay you're drinking. It obviously works.

p.s. 34

Robert ha detto...

Comment re post that I read at 4 00 am ,which has disappeared , a few years ago Kylie changed his surname by depol to Prowse { pretty sure it makes his surname legal } and when Oliver was born he was registered { at birth,death and marriages } under his father"s surname of Prowse .