Relax and get on with your life.

 Well, I've got our property looking okay again.

What a lot of work though! 

Especially if I'm going to Hell!

Here's a warning (well, part of a warning that Rob got in the mail)!

Whoever put this together really knows their stuff! It seems to be backed up by the bible too!
Hell is 'the lake of fire'.

Okay, okay, what sort of sick individual would put all this together and put it in someone else's letterbox? They should be arrested! What if a child read it and thought it was true?

In actual fact, Hell is quite a nice place. It has just been hyped up wrongly by stupid people.

NAH!

There's no such place, so relax. Get on with your life. Do things you love and have some fun. Have a Cleanskin or two. 

I'm off to practise my violin - I'm playing at an open mike night tomorrow evening.

Hey, it might be time to open a Cleanskin. I wouldn't mind betting that The Curmudgeon is about to do the same.

Is there a Heaven?

Well, as my mother once said, "I don't think I want to go there if Mr. Linford is there."

Ciao tutti.

Spotty is on the job.

 Looks like our pipes are going to get a make over.

The guys from Spotty had already started digging when I went out to juggle cars so that my daughter could go to work. I was told that the company was named after that little fish I used to catch as a kid, but I noticed today that the boss, Spotty, has a very spotty face. 

You can see from the photo that our section has changed its look drastically. 

I talked to Spotty and is seems that he should be digging up number 21 and not 12. He said that he won't have time to put our section back to normal because he is now behind time on the required work at number 21.

Ah well, at least I won't have to cut the lawns this weekend.

I hope that things are going better for The Curmudgeon up north.

Ciao tutti.

Warning! Warning!

 Warning 1.

Whenever you see a picture like this on The Curmudgeon's blog get ready to be bored out of your tree.

It is a sure sign that something is happening on his property and we're going to hear all about it.

YES, there will be a series.

Yes, there will be unnecessary detail.

Yes, there'll be a picture of the old chap dressed up in some silly outfit.

I'm simply warning you for your own mental safety.

Warning 2.

Pictures like this should act like a red flag to a bull.

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner, toilet cleaner, threatener of eternal damnation, and music snob is about to embark on another crusade. 

An earbashing about some writer, or religious nutter, is on the way.

This time it is Ernest Hemmingway.

Probably best if you stay away from these two blogs and go for a walk or see a movie.

No need for thanks, poor readers.

The First Post.

 

I woke at 4.58am. My alarm was set for 5am. It always gives me a fright when the alarm goes off, so I like to outsmart it.

6oC.

Shelley and I arrived at the Garden of Remembrance (I think it's called that) at around 5.50am.

Local firemen and firewomen were already there in their dress uniforms. It's not that there were a lot of firemen in the Anzacs, and we weren't expecting any fires. It's just that we don't have a military regiment stationed in Nuova Lazio. I wasn't carrying a violin but, rather, my horn.

This would be the first of two posts I would be playing today. At some time, just after 11am, I will play the last post for the day. The first post went well.

Boy, it was cold at the garden! It's a couple of hours later now and I'm just starting to warm up.

At least it's not raining.

Ciao tutti.

Not much happening on the blog scene.

 Thanks to Bin, The The and P. E. for their comments.

Bin

The The

P. E.

Without these three, both The Curmudgeon and RBB would be without comments on their last posts.

Talking of last posts, I played The Last Post at the Nuova Lazio rugby grounds yesterday.

Let's see if we get any comments on this post.

Ciao tutti.

What is the difference between a cyclist and a Christian?

 

A cyclist.

A Christian.

Well, they actually have quite a few things in common.

• They both like dressing up. For cyclists, tight pants with a pocket on the bum is a go to thing. For the clergy its an outfit that resembles a woman's dress.
• Christians believe that there is one god, whereas each cyclist thinks that he is god.
• Christians know that they are right, as do cyclists. 

However, there is one important difference - churches vs cycleways. 

Christians like their title written with a capital C. I think that cyclists would like this too. Christians try to go to church at least once a week, though there are some who show up most days. Outside of the faith, these people are known as god botherers. 

Cyclists can use cycleways every day, but they do enjoy a tangle with cars and are always keen to get back onto the 'road proper' so that they can be indignant about motorists - it can be boring on a cycleway, and you only have other cyclists to blame.

My home is in Nuova Lazio, a settlement over a hill. A shared walking path/cycleway has been built over the hill. This is a great asset; except for cyclists. I've seen cyclists, on several occasions, coming down the hill at speeds that seem to be about 80kph, with no regard for pedestrians. Dangerous!

The cyclist complains about the car, until it is his
turn with pedestrians.

For all their faults, you don't see Christians doing this.

Practising for my concerts next month - a one off take.

 HERE

Hey, don't worry. I'm not really expecting anyone to watch it. I've still got a month to tidy a few things up. 

I'll return to Italian on my next post.

A post in English.

 Although the two other bloggers around here obviously struggle with English, one of them gets upset when I write in Italian. Let's not mention any names.

Let me just say that he is the oldest blogger on the circuit, and he really struggles with proofreading. In his last effort he got the words 'straight' and 'strait' confused. Though, to his credit, it was probably the funniest bit in his post. 

It is exactly one month until my two library concerts. On the 17th of May I play in the Johnsonville Library and on the 20th I play in the Tawa library. 

"BIG and little."

Each concert is only 30 minutes long. I intend to play three pieces on the double bass and three pieces on the violin. I've already put in a lot of preparation for these two short events. I put a practice version of "Gypsy Feet" up on this blog and on Facebook. I only had it up on Facebook for one day, but it wasn't really well received on either site. The arrangement is supposed to sound a bit like a band - there is some walking bass and some drums sounds.

One blog reader said, "I watched it with the sound off. It looked like you were having some sort of seizure. I was worried so I switched it off."

A musician ex-friend also made a disparaging remark on Facebook. Someone said that they had tapped their foot as they listened. He said that he had tapped his foot wearing crocs. It's not too hard to work out that he wasn't being complimentary.

Okay, the recording wasn't perfect, I know that. Today I have to get things back on track. It is not easy music that I'm playing and playing solo is certainly not the easiest gig. It could go either way in the Johnsonville library because there will probably be a lot of young people there. 

It's important to remember that you can't please everybody and that critics are not necessarily right in their appraisals. Time will tell.

L'italiano reso facile. (Italian made easy)

 

Richard's Bass Bag* will mostly be coming to you in Italian from now on. Okay, okay, before you start moaning, don't forget that it is easy to use Google Translate - you can translate whole phrases very quickly.

If you are wanting to leave a comment in Italian, here are some phrases that you can use.

1. A positive comment (yes, I know you won't need many of these):

Che bella lettura! (What a great read!)

Sì, i cristiani credono nella fantasia. (Yes, Christians believe in fantasy.)

Mi è piaciuto molto quel modo di suonare il basso! (I really liked that bass playing!)

2. An off the topic comment:

Ho comprato un dizionario italiano per poter usare paroloni. (I bought an Italian dictionary so that I can use big words,)

Faceva freddo in piscina oggi. (It was cold in the pool today.)

Scriverò un post su questo perché non ho idee mie. (I'll write a post about this because I have no ideas of my own.)

Oggi ho trovato delle palline da golf. (I found some golf balls today.)

3. A rude comment:

Mi ne fregga una sega. (I don't give a wank.)

Testa di cazzo. (Dickhead.)

Fanculo! (Fuck!)

La mamma degli imbecilli è sempre incinta. (The mother of imbeciles is always pregnant.)

* * *

I hope that helps.

Ciao tutti.

* il sito originale di bass bagging

Nessun Commento.

 Perché?

Hai guardato il video?

"No, perché non parlo italiano."

Ma non è necessario parlare italiano per guardare il video.
Eccolo di nuovo.


Qui.


Godere.

Solo una corsa pratica.

Una versione solista del mio canzone 'Gypsy Feet'. Ok, c'è ancora del lavoro da fare sulla sensazione del tempo, ma eccolo qui - registrato in una sola ripresa.

https://youtu.be/-bzh5RDoDJA

Ciao tutti.

Buongiorno.

Ho pensato che se è abbastanza buono che quella suora polacca scriva in polacco sul mio blog, perché non dovrei scrivere in italiano?

Bandiera italiana.

Ad ogni modo, Peter è davvero l'unica persona che lascia commenti regolarmente e conosce un po' di latino. Beh, era in 3P. Molti anni fa, in realtà.

Oggi ho in programma di registrare una delle mie composizioni per contrabbasso solista. Si chiama 'Sii Gentile'.

L'ho scritto nell'agosto 2021. Quasi due anni fa. Non è un pezzo facile da suonare.

A maggio ho due concerti di mezz'ora in due biblioteche diverse. Ho chiamato questi concerti "GRANDI e piccoli". Ho intenzione di suonare tre assoli al contrabbasso e tre assoli al violino.

Se la registrazione di oggi andrà bene, la pubblicherò su questo blog.

Ricordate che 'chi va piano va sano e va lontano'.

Ciao tutti.

Dzień dobry.

Nazywam się Marie Faustina Kowalska i jestem zakonnicą.

Prawdopodobnie można to rozpoznać po moim wyborze ubrań. Muszę powiedzieć, że to dobry kapelusz przeciwsłoneczny. Przepraszam, ale nie mówię zbyt dobrze po angielsku. Jednak wiem, jak przeliterować słowo „boski” po angielsku. D I V I N E nie D E V I N E.

Dużo rozmawiałem z Jezusem i wiem, że nie lubi złej pisowni. W rzeczywistości powiedział mi, że zła pisownia może wylądować w piekle. Chociaż to tylko wtedy, gdy kościół katolicki ma rację ze swoim „może, może nie”. Myślę, że tylko czas pokaże.


Cześć wszystkim.

Welcome Harrison. Now we all have a job to do.

 

Two grandads with their boy.

I remember well finding the baby in the top photo crying, at about seven years of age. 

I tried to comfort him and he said, amongst big tears, "I'm the youngest Prowse. I'm going to be the last one left!"

Thirty six years later I reminded him how wrong he was. Actually, he now has lots of younger cousins and one little guy who showed up ten days ago with the name Harrison Robert Prowse. His son.

I don't think it's fair that babies
should be so damn cute!

Okay, that upset little seven year old is already proving himself to be a great dad. 

As grandad I have a specific job description. 

Here are the terms on my contract:

• Always have a jar of biscuits and chocolate ready.
• When with the little man, never neglect to supply an ice cream.
• Teach him to be kind.
• Build up his self esteem so that no imbeciles will be able to put him down.
• Keep him well away from organised religion.
• Love him and let him know that you do.

I have been appointed a grandma who will be a partner in this new venture. She has experience of child rearing. 

Obviously, mum and dad have the most important and most stressful jobs, but it is also important that the little guy learns of the great pleasure that can be gained from an ice cream.

"Hey, this is better than that healthy
stuff they give me at home!"

Aunty Steph will also be performing an important roll by keeping an eye on his fashion sense and teaching him how to draw and paint.

Okay team, let's do this!

I really don't get it.

 In the comments section on my last post I asked a simple question.

"So, you're saying that evolution didn't happen?"

Robert (the guy with the very long blog title) replied.

"I go with the magisterium of the Catholic Church. Maybe it did maybe it didn't. I was unfamiliar with the term biological evolution. In hindsight the qualifier does make more sense, because many things, motor cars and aeroplanes included, evolve!"

I feel Trent Horn would be pleased with that answer.

The The The Guy can write
confusing stuff too.

So, what is Robert saying? 

Magisterium means the official and authoritative teaching of the Roman Catholic Church. I had to look that up.

Evidently this means that maybe evolution (of animals and humans) happened or maybe it didn't.

Then Robert gets confused because motorcars and aeroplanes also evolve. 

Okay, I thought it would be pretty obvious that both Frank Zindler and I weren't talking about the updating of aeroplanes. We weren't talking about the technological improvement to motorcars either.  

Most people understand that, when evolution is mentioned, there is at least a 99% chance that the speaker is talking about animals

and humans.

The magisterium of the Roman Catholic Church, if that's its answer, is saying, "We don't know. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't."

That means that, for them, there is a 50% chance that Adam and Eve never existed. It follows on that there is a 50% chance that there is no such thing as original sin or a devil who appeared as a snake to encourage 'disobedience'.

Sheesh!*

Following on, things aren't looking certain (by any means) for the existence of Hell. 

Does that mean that Robert should alter his really long name to

Robert apathetic sanctimonious person who has a 50% chance of sinning, toilet cleaner, threatener of a punishment that may not exist, and music snob who has little knowledge of ways to play over a dominant 7th chord? 

I rest my case.

* I had to borrow that word from TC.

Reasonable Saturday.

A new Easter day has been introduced - probably by whoever it is who decided that you can't buy wine on two days during Easter. Between Shit Friday and Good Sunday they've inserted Reasonable Saturday - a day to think about reasonable things.

They've called in the services of Frank Zindler.

Maybe it's time to call in Angry Jesus too?

Angry Jesus

Here's a cartoon to lighten things up.

Well, it's better than all those philosophical cartoons that TC keeps putting up.

Ciao tutti.

March 31st.

 Okay, everyone will be going on about Good Friday today, but Friday March 31st. was, without doubt, the best Friday for me. There are two reasons why this date is very important to me and why I have decided to refer to it as Best Friday.

The saga of Best Friday really starts on 31/3/22 (although that day wasn't an actual Friday), just over a year ago. On this day I decided to start studying Paganini's 24th. Caprice, a piece that seemed very, very hard. Impossible really.

Okay, I still haven't mastered the work (in fact, far from it) but this was never really my intention. I studied some of the variations and managed to get them up to a reasonable standard, but the main gain is that I have learnt a lot that I have been able to apply to my own music. The work has also partially led me to think of different approaches and techniques. I guess you would say that Paganini's caprice has been an inspiration to explore my own ideas. I will slowly keep studying this work.

31/3/23 - Best Friday. a new and very special friend showed up. We share the same surname and he shares a name with the blogger who has the longest blog name - Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner, toilet cleaner, threatener of eternal damnation, and music snob.

His name is Harrison Robert Prowse.

Funnily enough, I found a picture of Richard (of RBB) when he was just a few hours old and the resemblance was uncanny. Between us we have decided that I will be known as Grandad (of RBB). We intend to spend an awful lot of time together.* It is my hope that, one day, Harrison will start his own blog. The name Harrison (of HBB) has a nice ring to it.

Oh, and a third reason to be thankful - the pubs and supermarkets are open on Best Friday.

* To be fair, H.R.Prowse doesn't know this yet.

Tra il dire e il fare c'è di mezzo il mare

 

Sorry, when I did those 3rd/7th runs, I also dropped in root/5th chords.

Who is the blogger with the longest name?

 Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner, toilet cleaner, threatener of eternal damnation, and music snob.

Robert the apathetic sanctimonious sinner, toilet cleaner, threatener of eternal damnation,
and music snob in dress up.

The Curmudgeon doesn't even get close on this one. Nor does Richard of Richard's Bass Bag* that comes in second.

So, what does Robert's ever growing name tell us?

• 1) He shows no interest, enthusiasm or concern while making a show of being morally superior, but admits that he sometimes breaks his god's laws.
• 2) He cleans toilets.
• 3) He feels he has the right, or correct knowledge, to inform others that a very unpleasant eternity awaits them after death.
• 4) He believes that his tastes in music are superior to those of other people.

To me the first point seems to contradict itself. It's hard to be morally superior when you claim to be a sinner.

The second point seems accurate, as long as he does a good job. Though most of us have cleaned a toilet at one time or another. I guess he's saying that he's a professional. Fair enough.

Number 3 is a dangerous one. As usual, this type of mean spirit comes from an unshakable belief that one's knowledge of how it all works is correct. It could serve as a good definition of people who believe in any god-type creature. 

For number 4 to be true, he would have to base his snobbery on the conviction that his music choices were based on a better ear than others and a huge knowledge of how music is, or can be, constructed. The first criterion would be tested by one's intonation when playing one's chosen instrument. I guess that's for each individual to be aware of. I haven't seen an acute knowledge of music theory or harmony, though to judge music on its complexity is a mistake. I guess that if he wants to judge himself as a snob, that's fine.

To sum up: Robert has the right to see himself and describe himself however he likes, just as The Curmudgeon describes himself as a bad tempered old person. 

The Curmudgeon. A bad tempered
old person.

I guess you could safely argue that The Curmudgeon's description of himself is more accurate than Robert's.

"Sheesh! I win!"

Well, in this case, who would want to win?

I guess these name choices are why Richard's Bass Bag* always remains at the very top of what blog readers prefer and love. Also, don't forget that it is the original bass bagging site.

Let's finish with the question I asked in the title to this post.

Who is the blogger with the longest name?

Congratulations Robert (tass,tc,toed,ams)

The winner!

Congratulations - the blogger
with the longest name!

* the original bass bagging site