My tape measure.

 

This is not my real tape measure - mine has a yellow plastic casing and says 'PlaceMakers' (written as one word) on one side. 

It also says, "Know how. Can do. 8m POWER TAPE."

I've had it for quite a long time. I've measured many things with it. My tape measure is totally metric - there are no inches or feet. Its label also tells us that it has a 25mm blade. The blade is actually a reinforced bit at the end that you can use to hang over things. It also has a clip so that you can hang it on your belt.

I thought Peter would enjoy this post. Really, it's up there with his coffee machine post. Okay, I must give it to him, he did add a bit of drama with The Old Girl liking a newer machine. Unfortunately, Shelley has no interest in tape measures. If I'd wanted to add drama, I would have had to lie to you. 

I could have written something like, "Shelley bought a new tape measure the other day and uses it all the time. She says that I should replace mine. I asked her if she replaces her old friends. She said that I was a silly old man."

If you enjoyed this post, please leave a comment.

Ciao tutti.

The fourth member of the Holy Trinity.

 Okay, I've been doing some research into history and I've found, in the Nuova Lazio public library, some wise old books that predate the bible. One book talks about how it all started and then gets onto explaining the Holy Quartet. Yes, you read that right - the Holy Quartet. As well as God the Father, God the Son and the Holy Ghost it appears that there is a fourth entity named Jeff.

Jeff

As you can see, this is a very old photo. Remember that photography was pretty primitive in pre-biblical times. It seems that Jeff was very modest and wasn't interested in fame and fortune. Evidently, when the bible writers approached Him, Jeff said that he wanted to keep his presence low key.

Still, in those early days he played an important role in the Holy Quartet. 

It is said that Jeff once rode up to Heaven on a very old form of bicycle. The old books talk about many great things he did and wise thoughts that he passed on. 

There is a movement developing that would like to see Jeff promoted to head of the Holy Quartet. After all, God the Father and his son have made some fairly big botch ups over the years. 

Here's a prayer that was written for Jeff...

Oh Jeff, who rode to Heaven,

On a two wheeler, before inflatable tyres,

We salute thee.

For you should lead the Holy Quartet,

For quite a long time.

Ah yes.

This is a coffee machine.

 

Okay, it certainly has its uses ('use' really), but would you write a blog about it? I'd go with 'no'.

The Curmudgeon, in his old age, clearly thinks differently and is prepared to write posts about almost anything.

It appears that some footballers are getting really lazy.

He used this shot twice - tyresome.

Jesus Christ!

As you all know, Peter (aka TC) made his 'reputation' with posts like "The Deadly Storm Up North'...

So bad that it blew an outside chair over!

...and the notorious 'Window Series'.

Let's be honest, if you've seen one window, you've seen them all.

There was also the vicious argument with a pregnant waitress.

"Wine? But I thought you wanted a beer."

 

At the moment he's knocking out at least three posts a day, with topics like:

• Going to the toilet can be fun.
• Trees in our neighourhood.
• Going to the landfill.
• Playing snooker with The Old Girl.
• More trees in our neighbourhood.
• Wines everybody should drink.
• Shrubs in our neighbourhood.
• Attacked by a small dog!
• Time for a moan.
• Bigger trees in our neighbourhood.
• Don't take shit from pregnant waitresses.
• Storm! And a mildly bad one!

I guess we have to tolerate the old chap. Maybe we need to huddle together and take turns at reading his posts? To give him credit, he certainly tries to copy this leading blog and is not slow to replicate what he likes. 

Good on him for trying, I guess.

Ciao tutti.

Heaven's Above!

 I wonder what the population of Heaven is?  I'll leave you to ponder that thought.

Heaven.

I've just watched the highlights of the Black Ferns playing Japan. Wow! What a team! Seven tries to Portia Woodman! 

I thought I was doing pretty well, time wise, until I discovered that daylight saving kicked in (or out) this morning and it was now an hour later than I thought. That's my long blog time gone.

Oh, and here's a little cartoon about Hell that I came across the other day.

Well, it's time to use the bathroom (and I won't be having a bath), so I'll have to leave it there. The double bass won't practise itself!

Ciao tutti.

"You're going to Hell!"

 

This doesn't exist.

What sort of sick person feels qualified to make a call like that?

I hear this statement quite a bit. I've even been told, several times, that this is my fate after death. My question is, what sort of fucked up person feels capable of making this call?

Is the devil preying on us and leading us into temptation? Only if you believe in such a creature. I think it's all fairytales and especially bullshit that young people don't need to be hearing.

Let's be honest. If there is a god, he's imperfect - he couldn't even get the sex thing right. Human sexuality happens over a large bell curve and that's why we have heterosexuals, gays, trans people and all the rest. It's not really a big deal. It's just that people come in different packages and have to be who they are. No one is sinning here because no one gets a choice who they're going to be. Sin is a damn stupid notion.

That idea that this Christian god loves us is a sick thing too. We have to love him or we're in trouble. That's not the sort of love I want to be involved with. Thanks, Christian god, but no. 

Life can be a hard old nut. We just don't need all this god, the devil and hell shit.

Just be kind to other people and do your best in life. Believe in yourself and have a few wines if they help. Hey, and don't threaten others, who are dealing with their shit, with all this hell nonsense. Those threats make you a very unpleasant and stupid person. The sort of person I don't want to be around.

Ciao tutti.

Sabato

 Okay, today I bring good news for Peter.

Peter in younger days.

I've heard that there are two other people reading our blogs.

THIS MEANS THAT PETER'S READERSHIP HAS DOUBLED!

Congratulations Peter!

* * *

Now back to business.

It's a sunny morning in Nuova Lazio and I have three days off work. Praise Zeus! My main goal for today is to get some serious bass practice done.

I have seventeen pieces to work on for my bass melodies concert.

I've already done a whole lot of work on these tunes and I already know them pretty damn well but, as they say, practice makes perfect. These tunes were written over a period of thirty years. From memory, the oldest one was written around 1992 and the newest one was written through the last lockdown. I have two top class musicians lined up - Wade Reeve on guitar and Shawn Anderson on drums and all I need now is a place to play.

* * *

I'm also working with my violin trio 'I Ragazzi Sperduti' with Daryl Prowse and George Prowse and I'm very excited about this band. We play jazz and Italian music. All we need now is somewhere to play.

* * *

My third bit of news is that, occasionally, I will be posting in a style of writing that both Robert and Peter can understand. Here's a little taste of things to come...

Ill be givin granma and profreeding a mis so you're other blogers can reed things they're understand. We. at richard's Base Bag*. look on this as a pubic servise four the lezz fortunate among us. Thancs are not neded;; its hour pleasure hear at the base bagel.

Fish and shits for tea.

Shower titty.

* the original base bagging sit

Whensday.

 Actually, I meant 'Wednesday' but I thought that Peter and Robert would feel more comfortable with a few spelling and grandmatical mistakes. Yes, I'm srious.

I gues the question has to be arsed, "How serious is profreading?"

People obviously dont take it seriously on Faecbook. Even English teachers I now make grandmatical mistakes. Shooking really!

Hey, that last picture makes me think, "Is there a Dog!"

Many people think their is. 

Ah. your probabl thinking ive lost the plott. but I've just doing this four my too Faecbook colleges - Peter and Robert. I hop there grapefruit.

Chow tooty.

The Chin Rest Post.

 Most Quite a few violinists, in their life, experiment with different chin rests. I've noticed that I feel more comfortable playing over the tail piece so, after much thought, I've put this chin rest back on.

Robert will probably say that Sister Joachim never needed a chin rest placed there but, it's worth noting that, I never dressed up in a silly hat with a cross around my neck.

The clothing is the same 
but Sister Joachim never 
looked like this!

Well, there you have it, a special post for TC. 

He'll be happy now, as he probably recovers from falling into a creek at his golf course, and will probably leave a comment or ten.

I guess that's what old men do.

Ciao tutti.

Okay, I'll have to keep this short.

 

TC has indicated that he is desperate for a post to read and has even threatened to go over to Robert's blog. I'm in a bit of a rush because there is practice to do and then I have to go up to Paraparaumu. I'm staying the night up there and visiting some old friends. Then, on Sunday, I have to get back for a jam at the Bluegrass Society.

I'll also need a visit to the bathroom pretty soon. I've been talking to my Italian friend for the last two hours. Well, there you go TC, a post from me to read. 

Enjoy.

Ciao tutti.

A punishment worse than Hell?

It seems members of the Catholic church are out to get me!

I received this comment on my blog today...

Oh no! I'm shivering in my boots!

Well, he hadn't commented on my last two posts (that I deleted for personal reasons), so I think I can live without the 'musical advice' comment that he deleted.

Moving right along...

I've done 2 3/4 hours of practice today - 1 hour and 15 minutes on the violin and 1 hour and 30 minutes on the double bass. I should also point out that this was 'thoughtful' practice.

I'm working every day this week, but Wednesday is only a half day. On Wednesday I get to work (my violin teaching day) early and bang off an hour's practice before my first student arrives.

My students are a little older than this.

Most of my students are around 14 years old and I really enjoy teaching them. It's a real challenge to get them going on playing the violin and I put a lot of effort into trying to find the best ways to help them.

Actually, it's great that Robert's not commenting on my blog (as punishment) because he'd leave some silly comment about Sister Joachim - our violin teacher when we were young. Actually, I think that the old nun was a pretty good teacher. 

Well, I'll be off now as I'm on tea duty (as I am on most nights). I'm doing a vegetable curry tonight. Don't get too excited about that.

Ciao tutti.