Time for a change!

 I see that Rob took Peter's advice and returned to a long, silly name.

Was Peter's advice good advice? I don't really think so.

I had a change yesterday, something I haven't done for about 35 years. 

Can you guess what I did?

Is it to do with music? Was it something to do with work? Did I give up drinking Cleanskins? Did I start growing a moustache? Am I now wearing shorts and a t-shirt everywhere, just like Peter? Have I changed Richard's Bass Bag* to something silly like 'Richard the bassist and violinist and occasional trumpet player who sometimes, through necessity, has to clean the toilet at home and always does the vacuuming'?

Have a think. I'll ramble on for a while to give you some breathing time.

I have an important gig on Wednesday. It's a jazz gig in Wellington. I'll be playing double bass and maybe a couple of violin numbers.

We have a late practice in Wellington tonight, so the pressure is on. The traffic into Wellington, around 5pm and 6pm, is very bad at the moment, so I'll have to allow about 1 1/2 hours to get to where I need to be. 

Okay, okay, I hear you. You're waiting impatiently to hear about my change.

Here goes...

I changed a nappy yesterday and, yes, it was poo.

My son and his wife picked up some food poisoning and were not well, so Shelley and I spent most of the day looking after our grandson Harrison. It stood to reason that, sometime, in the 7 hours we were 'in charge', he'd likely 'use the bathroom'.** Sure enough he did. Shelley held him down a bit and used a toy to distract him from endeavouring to get his hands in on the action. I went to work. Like a lot of things in life, the process came back to me quickly. Harrison seemed happy with the result.

Mission accomplished!

I've got to admit that it was fun spending so much time with him. It's amazing watching his development and his interaction with us. 

Let's hope that his parents have a speedy recovery, but I'm standing by today - just in case.

Another nappy change? Ah, all in a day's work!

* the original bass bagging site

** in this case the bathroom would be a nappy

More Eh, aye!

 Eh, aye! photos are free!

Here is Jesus with Richard Dawkins.

Eh, aye!

 That sounds like something a Scotsman might say.

"Eh, aye!"

This same man was asked, "What's worn under the kilt?" He replied, "Nothing, it's all in perfect working order."

Everyone seems to be talking about Eh, aye! lately. Are people all going Scottish? I know I am - I found out recently that I'm a quarter Scottish.

On Rob's blog, that doesn't really seem to make sense anymore and comments are getting deleted, one post is titled, "Microsoft cop it a lot, a look at Eh,aye!" (Okay, there are a few spelling mistakes in his title that I corrected.)

I don't know which Scotsmen Rob has been
talking to, but that doesn't look like Richard Dawkins!

That looks more like a Scotsman, and why is Jesus still wearing his crown of thorns? That happened years ago! Get over it Jesus!

With pictures like this it's fair enough that Microsoft is coping it a lot.

Stop Press.

 Peter (aka The Curmudgeon, The Happy Curmudgeon, etc.) has a new guy he is fighting with at tennis. So long Mike and, as they say, welcome Roger.

Roger comes to tennis, listens to crazy music, and then drinks beer. Peter prefers vino over Roger's last choice.

Please let me make it clear - Roger and Peter are not good friends.

"I went to tennis this morning but left early after an altercation with an idiot who occasionally turns up (not Mike). This guy Roger is a bit bi-polar I think. He sits in his car for half an hour before coming in, blasting awful music out in a peaceful bay setting. When he came in to the tennis courts he was drinking from a quart bottle of beer. A couple of members remonstrated but he ignored them so I gave him a couple of barrels (not beer kegs).We had a slanging match where I told him how inappropriate he was being. Unfortunately the two tennis club committee leaders there wimped out and wouldn't support me so I, like Robert with his rugby ball back in the Botanical Gardens in the 1960s, took my tennis racket and went home. Sheesh!" said Peter.

Tennis, up near the Whangarei Heads, sounds like a very volatile game! I doubt that they thank God after each match.

At least, when he's at tennis, he is not falling down banks while looking for golf balls. For an old guy like Peter it does sound like a safer option.

Wafers for lunch after tennis. 

My post, but not really the last one.

 

I'm in there somewhere.

Oh, there I am.

There were an awful lot of people there, but out of shot.

I did my best job this year, thanks to some thoughtful practice.

As usual, they praised God near the end of the ceremony, and for many things. I just thought of Zeus.

Don't forget that he swallowed one of his wives whole. A very clever god was Zeus.

I hope god (whoever he is) does something to stop wars soon.

When I got home, I played a special Last Post for Shelley's dad. 

'Schoie'. Captain Scholefield - My son
bears his name and I'm proud of that.

Last Post.

 No, this won't be the last time I am posting. The title refers to the fact that I have already played The Last Post twice this morning.

That's not me, but I played the same tune.

One more to go - the big one, where people march past and a guy goes on and on about God.

"Thank God for all the wars."

I don't know why God gets a mention. See how I used a capital G. That shows I'm talking about the 'real' god and probably not Zeus. 

This year my practice paid off. Two performances and I didn't crack any notes! I did a lot of work on pitching and breathing. I think I'll keep practising the trumpet throughout the year. It's kind of fun.

* * *

Hey, I got a comment from 'Rob' on my last post! He told me that 'transgender' is a big word and that Tent Horn isn't a fan of it.

"RBB used a big word 'transgender', so I looked it up: 'A person whose gender identity is different from what they were assigned at birth'.
Evidently some children in the USA are believing that they are trans-species, and that they are really cats and dogs! (Tent Horn podcast)." said Rob in his comment.

I took the liberty of adding a couple of spaces to Rob's comment. Proofreading IS important. Oh, and I corrected the spelling on Tent's name.

I actually have two close relatives who are transgender. Two people who I love very much. It seems to me that they are being what they need to be. One of them is in her late fifties, no kid. Tent can go suck his own horn for all I care. I had a boss who was transgender, and I can tell you that he is much happier as a man. 

* * *

It's now 7.12am and my two female flat mates are asleep, so music practice is not possible. I guess I'll just write on. Peter won't be up yet.

Peter in bed.

Peter's last post was written under the name of The Happy Curmudgeon.

However, he starts writing, "Hello readers.
I thought that a post from the Happy Curmudgeon is in order after that rather dire one from The Darker Curmudgeon yesterday.
I'm happy today - how are you all going?"

Is that The Curmudgeon or The Curmudgeon talking? I honestly don't know.

Anyway, then he (whoever he is) gets onto food.

"It's a smoked salmon and cream cheese pizza with red onion, capers and Feta. I'll further experiment tonight but think I've got the recipe right. I promised to make it for The Old Girl when she gets home in a few weeks time."

Is The Happy Curmudgeon in a relationship with 'The Old Girl' too? Well, the bad grammar (a few weeks time - should be 'a few weeks' time') suggests that The Curmudgeon (aka Peter) is still writing.

Anyway, it is probably the most boring post you could read. Maybe The Happy Curmudgeon is happy for his boss to take the 'credit' for this one? 

* * *

Well, that's just about it from me. 

Though I still have time to fill in.

Maybe I'll read a bit of Italian.

Ciao tutti.

Jesus Christ!

 

Is this Jesus coming back? He's gone for the 2000 years ago look, except for the shoes.

The shoes!

How do we know he's the real Jesus?

Was there a real Jesus?

I wonder if he's wearing modern underpants?

Actually, the long hair and the skirt thing makes him look like he might be transgender.

He might have returned with a strong message for Catholics.

Good on him, if that's the case.

Maybe he's wearing underpants more like this?

If that's the case, good on you Jesus!

Ciao tutti.

One small achievement, one huge step for mankind!

I won the bronze!

 

It appears that I'm the third most prolific blogger in our little community, where most blogs have a readership of 2. I have been told that I can't get plenary indulgences for this.                                      

"The magisterium of the Church decides on plenary indulgences." says Rob. I have no clue what the magisterium is. Hang on, I'll look it up on Google.

The magisterium of the Catholic Church is the church's authority or office to give authentic interpretation of the word of God, "Whether it is in written form or in the form of Tradition". (I made some grammatical corrections to this quote)

I used to be a Catholic once. I remember that I used to recite, as an older child, "I love Jesus and I hate the Devil." This was induced by fear, and the Catholic church had taught me fear well.

I was at a wedding, last Saturday, and the ceremony was hosted by a guy from the Knox Church.

He told us, "This is a marriage of three people."

What he evidently meant was that Jesus (or God) was in the marriage too. This caused a bit of confusion for some of us who were there and not members of the Knox Church.  

I played some background music on my violin. I imagined Rob going around tables and playing the music that people liked.

"I will now play Paganini."

The wedding was in Martinborough, where they have the brandy that's made in the wire wrapper, and we made it to our B&B, only to find that it was shit. There were three of us, but I'd only paid $240. So, I drove to Greytown (no refund) and forked out another $400 for two motel rooms. An expensive night. 

I don't think that I'd necessarily call playing at a wedding fun. I had to set up a mic (and other gear) for the ceremony and, if you're playing, you can get stopped at any moment. Fortunately, there was no Neil Diamond this time.

Yesterday I drove our third motel person around greater Wellington (no Peter, it was not a sightseeing tour) for five hours. I got home just after 7pm and was wacked. Still, I won the bronze medal.

That bronze medal is the closest thing I'll get to a plenary indulgence. Anyway, a plenary indulgence sounds like a bribe.

Ciao tutti.

A great old joke.

 I wonder if Peter is cleaning a shed again today? 

I'm off to a wedding tomorrow. In Martinborough. I'm playing background music on my violin. The guy getting married is the same guy who replaced me with Neil Diamond (recorded music) when I was playing backgrounds a little while back. I guess it could be a short gig. 

Is playing background music similar to cleaning a shed? 

God would know the answer to that.

Do you get plenary indulgences if you're a Catholic and you clean a shed? Maybe it has to be a shed on church property.

Humble Catholics would probably clean atheists' sheds. Okay, there'd probably be a plenary indulgence or two thrown in for the humble guy.

Boar Ring.

 

The blogs have been a bit boring lately. Let's face it, cleaning a shed is just not that interesting.

Metaphysics is never going to compete with what cleaners get up to on the job.

Also, I've noticed that Tent Horn has been taken off the watch list.

Maybe that means the end of big words?

Yep, this blogging community is not the place to come if you're looking to read something interesting.

I guess that's why Ruby is important.

Hey, if you watch carefully, you might just catch a glimpse of me in the background.*

So, come on Peter and Robert, let's make a bit more effort to entertain (like Ruby does).

Maybe you both need some blogging lessons?

Ciao tutti.

* A bonus!

Ruby is proving to be very popular with our readers!

 Let's kick things off with a few words from Ruby.

Okay, it seems that big words are very popular, especially when one is talking about Christian religion or philosophy.

Here, at Richard's Bass Bag*, we try to help our readers along in life. So, here are some big words (and phrases) that you can throw into discussions to make you sound intelligent.

• Gigantic.
• Huge.
• Giant.
• Aircraft carrier.
• Very tall building.
• Erection.
• Very fat man.
• Very fat woman.
• Ethnomusicology (I learnt that at university, I didn't make it into 3P in 1966).
• 3,000 miles.
• Ego.
• Double bass.
• Grand piano.

I hope that helps you in your next discussion or argument.

Ciao tutti.

* the original bass bagging site 

Introducing Ruby.

 

"The right to vote is not intrinsic. Whereas morality is immutable."

 I bet that Tent Horn would have said that at some point, and very quickly.

Okay, okay, I confess, I had to look up the definition of 'immutable'.*

"Unchanging over time or unable to be changed."

While we're at it, let's check out 'intrinsic'.

"belonging naturally; essential."

So, in simple English...

The right to vote is not something everyone is entitled to, whereas morality is set in stone.

Let me try another translation...

No one can expect the right to vote but, hey, morality is not up for discussion.

Why is morality not up for discussion?

Robert the mate of Tent says, "CS Lewis said that the moral code is written in our hearts. Religious would say by God."

He went on to mention other people going with evolution as being where morality comes from.

Clive Staples Lewis was a British writer, literary scholar, and Anglican lay theologian.

I don't know whether or not he invented staples or the stapler.

Personally, I don't really care what Clive thought and I'm surprised that Robert is listening to Anglicans.

As for God (humans have worshiped over 5,000 different gods), well.

I got involved with this topic through the 'bloggings' of Robert and Peter. It all seems to have started with Robert being happy that Arizona is banning abortion. 

"It's great to hear that the USA is leading the world in respecting the dignity of life." Robert says. I wonder why he didn't use bigger words when he wrote that? I mean, as a statement, it is easy to understand. That's all good, except that I must say that I'm glad I'm not a woman living in these abortion banning states who might have good reason to need an abortion. Robert would probably say that there are no reasons to justify an abortion. Sounds like Robert might be predetermining what morals we must have. Maybe Robert is one of those 5,000 gods?

Abortion or no abortion?

It seems that there is no middle ground, no room to say, "What if?"

It's unlikely that the pope will ever need an abortion.  Nor Robert.

There is no room for empathy with these old guys.

I think I'd rather have my moral code decided by someone else and preferably not that Staples guy.

Ciao.

* I don't listen to Tent Horn with a dictionary in hand.

Richard who lives slightly to the east.

 Gosh the posts on some well known seldom read blogs have been 'interesting' lately. It all seems to be about the pope and lawn mowing. Robert who lives slightly to the west brought up morals in a comment on The Religious Curmudgeon's latest post.

"Our society is all about what feels right. Morals are whatever you want them to be."

I bet he's saying that because he thinks his god made morals. Remember the ten commandments? I think his god was too concerned with what people thought about HIM - no false gods, etc. I think he wasted three commandments on that. 

The morals that we need for everyone to have a chance of living a fulfilling life are pretty obvious - don't kill, don't take other people's stuff, etc. You don't need to be a lawnmower technician to work those out. The hard part is getting everyone to practise them.

Anyway, the Testore Trio has a gig on May 4th (11am) at Tawa Library. Yes, I know, 'May the fourth be with you!'.

The trio is Richard - violin, George - 6 string bass, Daryl - guitar. 

We'll be playing some jazz standards and maybe a Neapolitan tune. It'll be good to have the band playing again. 

Okay, back to the blogging community. It seems that the pope has retrieved an old title to put after his name - Patriarch of the West. This is getting both Robert and Peter (two bloggers with a small readership) very excited about their own titles. Robert already has a few going - Robert the Sinner, Robert Sees Things in Sky (I think he's talking about Sky TV), Robert - doctor of mopping and Robert's Potato Bag. Word is that Peter is thinking of using - Peter the Lawnmower Technician, The Curmudgeon Part Three, Peter's 3 Pees or Peter's Thoughts from The Office. That last one can only be used while Lynn is overseas.

People often say to me, "It's great how your blog has never changed its title. It gives us readers a feeling of consistency. We like that."

I guess that's a lesson for both Peter and Robert... listen to your readers, even if there are only two.

Okay, it's going to be a busy day, so I'm off.

Ciao tutti.

 

Divine Mercy Sunday.

 Well, actually it's Mow The Lawns Sunday in Nuova Lazio.

Yesterday I bought something that should make the job easier.

It was bloody expensive, but it should make things
easier for the leg muscles.

I'm hoping to get some Divine Mercy to help pay for it. I thought that I could always drive the machine around to Robert's in exchange for his amount of DM. Well, he'd get his lawns cut. It'll be interesting to see how it handles the Nuova Lazio hill. You don't see many lawn mowers driving over the hill, but this machine should be up there with the best of them.

Peter will be envious. I think he has an old battery thing that you have to push. He obviously needs to earn some DM. I doubt that they give it to people who steal and sell communion hosts.

Eat your heart out, Peter!

God Almighty!

 

A happy little post on a happy little day?

Why is Richard (of RBB) so happy today?

No reason really.

Peter the pumpkin eater is being his amusing old self.

Robert has replaced Mary on his blog with a picture of Bob.

I've been offered a gig at a library on May 4th.

I said to the lady from the library, "May the fourth be with you!"

I thought that was up there with some of Peter's best witticisms!

I see from Robert's latest surviving post that he is eating Neons (evidently a type of fish) for breakfast. I wonder if Peter has golf balls for breakfast?

Oops! That's not a golf ball!

How would you cook golf balls? 

Do they have some sort of yolk inside?

I mean, there has to be a reason why Peter keeps hunting for them.

Does Peter keep his golf balls in something like this?

I hope that Robert has a sign like this on his tank.

That would be better than 'Closely Confined Neon Fish'.

Come on Richard (of RBB), keep it jolly!

Sorry.

I'm having a slow start to the day.

Really I should be practising.

I also need a shower.

Better get going.

Hope you all enjoyed this happy post.

Bye!

Angry Jesus doesn't take shit!

 

Angry Jesus

Look what he once did to Richard (of RBB) for playing out of tune!

Now he's threatening Hell to Robert for copying one of Richard (of RBB)'s posts!

Sometimes the ways of Angry Jesus are not that mysterious.

Holy Mary, mother of God!

 A new low in blog posting has been reached!

That's where you just copy someone else's post.

I'm talking about this blogger...

And there's Peter worrying about AI!

The Jack Reacher of the 1930s?

 Robert [no middle name] Prowse.

You can see, in this picture, that he is wearing shin pads and socks. 

The ball is a normal size leather ball.
Remember that its holder is only ten years old.

It was many years later that 
Peter [middle name] McDonald
ventured out on his bike.

And even years later that Robert Maurice Prowse started dressing up.

And even years later that Peter [middle name] McDonald got his sock-boots.