I thought that Peter might be in this photo. God* knows he's old enough!

 

* Zeus

Why is there no new post from The Curmudgeon?

 Only a true believer in nonsense (or The Curmudgeon) will be able to name this lady.

Clue: Back in the day she worked
as a lumberjack.

A group known as Monty Python took credit for these lyrics, but the lady in the picture above really wrote them.

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night and I work all day.

She's a lumberjack, and she's okay.
She sleeps all night and she works all day.

I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

She cuts down trees. She eats her lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays she goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.

Okay, the correct answer was Maria de Agreda. She was also known as María el leñador.

María el leñador was born in 1602 to a Spanish woman, Catalina, who was married to a woodsman (leñador) named Francisco.

She spent her early years sharpening axes and primitive saws. Her father would often say, "Un árbol señalará siempre en la dirección en la que cae.".

Maria worked for her father for quite a few years and stole quite a few of his sayings.

Maria preached a lot about the almost magical powers of a spice called Turmeric.

Turmeric

She said, "La cúrcuma nos ayuda a encontrar cosas."

She evidently also said, "Espolvorea cúrcuma si quieres ver hacia dónde apunta un árbol."

Again, apologies that The Curmudgeon couldn't be bothered posting today.

The Almighty Power of Turmeric.

 

I don't know Risen, but he
sure can't match the power
of Turmeric!

WHAT FOLLOWS IS A TRUE STORY ABOUT MYSTICAL POWER.

Okay, Easter is a mystical time for some people. It's considered so important that you can't buy wine on two days - Friday and Sunday. What's that all about?

Yesterday we in Nuova Lazio experienced something that was nothing short of a miracle!

Here's the story...

Shelley had a birthday in March and, among other things, I bought her some nice earrings.

On Friday (up on the cross day) evening she managed to lose one of them. I put it down to a lack of wine - remember that all the wine shops were closed. We spent a fair amount of time on Saturday looking for the earring. We searched the bedroom intensively - under the bed, among the sheets and pillows, behind the dressing table, inside shoes, everywhere.

No earring.

Then I searched the bathroom, the other bedroom, the living room (including inside the double bass and in my violin case), the computer room and the back storeroom.

No earring.

I felt beaten, but that's life and earrings are quite small and hard to find once lost.

We prepared to carry on with life.

Fast forward to Sunday (the day of resurrection).

Shelley has a thing about healthy foods and Turmeric features high on the list for her. Since we had no way of getting wine, she decided to spend time adding Turmeric to her preprepared 'snacks' - lunch for work and breakfast (I assume, in reality I'm not that sure what she was making).

I noticed that, when she was finished, she had managed to spill Turmeric all over the bench and on the floor. I thought, "This wouldn't have happened if we had some wine!"

I pointed out the mess to her and said we don't want the kitchen bench stained with bloody Turmeric,* and that part of the floor would need a good clean too. 

She got to work and cleaned the bench until it was spotless. Then she started on the floor.

THE TURMERIC MAGIC KICKED IN!

There on the kitchen floor, disguised slightly by Turmeric, was the earring!

THE EARRING IS RISEN!

Praise be to Turmeric!

I bowed before Shelley because her Turmeric had succeeded where I had failed.

I will never underestimate the power of Turmeric again!

* Blasphemy, in retrospect!

Easter Wetday and why spelling and proofreading are important.

Okay, you're a reader of blogs in this little community and there is one thing you will have noticed. Bloggers like Peter and Robert struggle with the concept of proofreading. The question I want you to ask yourself is... 

Is this lack of proofreading limited only to bloggers in this little community?

Take whoever wrote the Bible. It has been reported that whoever put pen to paper probably did so hundreds of years after events took place. Imagine if you were writing about events that happened in the 1700s. Would you really have all the facts at your disposal? Now imagine that you lived in the year 300. What would your education and, consequently, knowledge of grammar, in whatever language you were writing in, really be like?

I know, I know, Christians will probably say that their god wrote the Bible. Let's not go there right now. Let me remind you of a picture from my last post.

Pay particular attention to the door.

Were people of biblical times obsessed with wheels?

It seems they made a pretty good job of building this.

So, why couldn't they build a door like this?

Evidently Mary of Magdala was the person who found the door to the tomb rolled back after Jesus had supposedly kicked the bucket.

Maybe it really happened like this...

"Hi, I'm Mary of Magdala and I rolled the door open myself, otherwise how would I get in to check on Jesus? That door was heavy, but it did roll pretty easy. I wish they'd used their technology to build a square, or oblong, wooden door. Jesus wasn't there but that didn't really surprise me because it would have been cold in that tomb. I don't think he was dead. I think it was someone else up on that cross. Maybe Brian?"

Anyway, proofreading is important and important things do get lost in translation.

Take a look at this...

I left this comment.

Robert replied (after running my comment through Google Translate).

When I wrote the comment, I was thinking, "Between talking and doing there is the ocean."

Okay, Robert sort of got the idea from his translation, but it was not exactly what I was saying.

I wasn't saying anything about there being a lot of water, or someone going to the toilet. I was expressing the thought that there can be a big difference between what you say and what you do. Robert seems to have taken my saying too literally. I hope he sticks to cleaning and doesn't become a translator.

Ah well, I'm off to see my grandson - it's his birthday today.

Enjoy your Easter Wetday, though the day does seem to be improving.

Better Saturday.

 Also known as Cleanskin Saturday, Get Some More Wine Day, Open That Supermarket Saturday and Feels A Bit Like Sunday Saturday.

I read this in The Dribble this morning...

Brent 44,27: As was the custom, huge stones were used before doors were invented. Huge rolling stones.* People wondered, in a time when the wheel was in wide use, why was it so hard to think up a functional door? 

Come On, just get some wood and make a square frame.
We can worry about hinges later.

Hey, and what's this thing about not being able to buy wine on Friday and Monday? Who thought that up?

Bloody Easter!

If Christians want to have their celebrations and make nuisances of themselves at church every day, all fine with me, but why are atheists deprived of wine? Aotearoa is NOT a Christian church state. Luxon, unlike Trump, does not have his own Bible. Not yet anyway. Who, or what, gives someone the right to ban booze for two days? Why aren't all those people protesting in Parliament grounds about THIS?

FREEDOM!

Anyway, I don't know what all those Christians are getting hot under the collar about. Jesus comes back tomorrow. No big surprise there really. Roll The Stone Sunday. Jesus once turned water into wine. He said, "If anything bad ever happens to me, think cross, celebrate my return with wine. Look, I'm giving you a sign here."

"I hope you're all taking note. Let's call it Cleanskin.
Hey, I could be stopping a war somewhere or uninventing cancer,
 but I'm doing this for you! I'm saving your wedding from being
a dry affair. Let's remember this for the future. For those in the
future who will have to get through Easter celebrations."

Jacob 88, 45: The Lord preached the importance of wine in times of celebration. He particularly had Easter in mind.

There you go. Enjoy your trip to the supermarket today.

* Nothing to do with that Rock n Roll group.

Reasonably Okay Friday.

 All the Christians should be sad because Jesus is up on a cross.

Also, pubs and supermarkets are closed. Well, in some places you can get a drink in a pub if you buy a meal.

Mathew 17, 31: There will come a time when the purchase of Cleanskins will not be possible on this day and you must eat yesterday's food.

James 33,27: Anus was no longer in charge of whatever his job was. Choirfist, his daughter's boyfriend, was in charge now. He was the one who changed the fate of Sheesh! from home detention to standing on a plank with his hands up.

Phillip 44, 71: Anus wiped himself of it all and handed the call to Choirfist saying, "You build something if you want."

Choirfist, and there is evidence to support this, experimented with quite a few different structures. 

Evidence was found of this structure in 1993.

In the end he sort of lost interest and just nailed a couple of planks together. Choirfist was known as a lazy bugger.

Brent 55, 2: Choirfist, who went out with the daughter of Anus, was a lazy bugger who preferred to drink cheap wine.

Here is proof of everything I have told you:

Ian wrote about this in 1994. His writing was recommended by others. Matthew was quoted and so were many very wise men. The wooden structure found in 1993 has been examined by Destiny Church members. There were no rainbow crossings in those ancient times, so no white paint was needed. An ancient old book that contains all these truths (The Dribble) can be confirmed by various other sources, including members of the Taliban. History books will also confirm what I have written here, as will Act party members and some ex-prime ministers. Look, it's true even though some atheists don't like it. Atheists don't know what to believe and even make up their own morals. They won't be so smart when they finish up in Hell!

I don't know how many shepherds we have in Nuova Lazio, but one thing's for sure...

 They'll be shitting themselves this morning!

Yes, it is morning and the sky is like this.

I guess that all the shepherds in the area will be on the phone to each other by now.

"Hi Brett, it's Simon here. Have you looked out the window? It's not looking good at all!"

"Yeah Simon, the message is pretty bloody clear!"

"What a pity it couldn't happen at night! I love those evening sunsets. There's always a big celebration."