The blog that's not popular with cleaners.

 Good morning. 

I'll have to make this fairly quick this morning because I have to be places a little later on this morning.

A place I don't have to be at
a little later this morning.

I'm sure that there are people who are quite happy reading this blog. It seems that cleaners are not among these people. One of them wrote, "Robert sits having a coffee in the staff cafe. He's reads part of RBBs blog to Tau. She shows no interest apart from a polite chuckle and puts on some Pacific Island music. It starts with a trumpet call."

I must admit that I don't listen to a lot of Pacific Island music, and I don't know whether Robert is referring to a European style trumpet or some form of traditional Pacific Island horn. 

I do know that they use this instrument.

This is not a traditional
Pacific Island instrument
and the way the notes are
'placed' comes from Europe.

Hey, don't get me wrong, I have no problem with cultures progressing their art forms by borrowing from other cultures. The instruments I have at home were not invented in Aotearoa, but I was. Though it is good to acknowledge the overseas influences on the music you like to immerse yourself in. When you use a guitar, a tempered instrument, your 'traditional' music is going to have to adjust. It's going to have to be quite a bit more European.

So, how does all this fit in with reading, and enjoying, Richard's Bass Bag*?

It doesn't really. 

Hey, but maybe Tau was a bit fast to judge? Maybe morning tea wasn't the best time to be ignoring your workmates and putting your thoughts into reading? I don't know. Maybe the blog just wasn't Tau's cup of tea. No morning tea pun intended.

Well, Robert is a cleaner too. So far, as far as I know, 2/2 cleaners have not liked this blog.

Maybe I just need to issue a warning?

Caution! This blog it not recommended for cleaners!

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Though, on the positive side, it does seem to get people listening to different styles of music.

Ciao tutti.

* the original bass bagging site

Free zing? No, I paid.

I bought a heat her (and hopefully him). It is bigger and more powerful. You can feel heat coming from this machine.

Double bass will be my first job today. Tomorrow I have work, so there will be less time. Then violin, as usual.

I don't remember the last time Rob commented on this blog (actually, it was 11/6). Normally the little 'avatar' that comes with the message can be clicked on to reach the sender's blog. See the little yellow face at the top?

It doesn't work on Rob's one. This makes it nearly impossible to reach his blog from my phone. Ah, maybe he doesn't want visitors and he's really just writing to Jesus and Mary. Beh, mi ne frega una sega.

Poor old TC only got one comment on his last post. He likes to skite about his overseas readers, yet he struggles to get comments. I've decided to ring him to see if I could help.

Ring, ring, ring.

TC: Hi Richard. This is quite an early call for you!

Richard (of RBB): Hi Peter. I just wanted to ask you about your blog. A few posts back you put up a table that shows you getting tremendous readership around the world. You even criticised Poland for only giving you 1.91k of readership or looking at your blog. Shit with holes in it!

TC: Did you mean to say, "Holy shit!"?

Richard (of RBB): But you say that 123k Americans are looking at your blog?

TC: That's the number.

Richard (of RBB): Wouldn't you think that even just one of these 123,000 people might leave a comment? That's the sort of shit that comes from a bull!

TC: Did you mean, "Bullshit!"? I think those Yankees prefer to talk about my blog among their friends.

Richard (of RBB): Your last post has one comment and guess who wrote it. Me! God's mother is full of holes!

TC: Did you mean, "Holy mother of God!"? Are these phrases you are screwing up Wainuiomata jokes?

Richard (of RBB): I feel like time is becoming just like my waist as we talk!

TC: Do you feel like you're wasting your time here? Sheesh! I'll certainly be giving Wainuiomata a wide berth when I make it back to Wellington!

Richard (of RBB): You can't get to Wainuiomata by boat.

TC: Sheesh! What did they teach you in 3G in 1966? My blog is interesting. That's why many people overseas like to take a look. I bet they don't look at your bass shopping bag!

Richard (of RBB): From what I understand, only one person in Wainuiomata looks at your blog. That's me! I bet that the same situation is in place in Moera, though the looks would be much less common. 

TC: I prefer to work with facts. That's what they taught us in 3P. Though, they did go on about all that religious nonsense. Mea culpa. Anyway, I've got a meal to plan. Crum baked asparagus and cheese pie with homemade chips. I'll probably do a post on it. The readers in France and Sweden will like that. Get back to your post and try to make it more interesting. PLEASE, no more rambling on about your violin practice! Bye.

Richard (of RBB): Bye.

Well, I guess I might as well just go and practise.

Ciao tutti.

Free Zing!

 I got up this morning expecting to pay for a zing, but then I realised it was free. Free zing!

The little heater is doing its best as I write.

I'm going to see my grandsons today. Mr. H V Prowse is two months old today, but still not writing blog posts. I'm sure that Mr. H R Prowse is though.

I see that Rob is having a good time in Napier but is struggling with the difference between 'their' and 'they're'.  "They're food was delicious also and we had a mock cocktail each."

Well, it's good that he's having a good time and isn't quoting those silly old biblical guys.

I hope Peter enjoyed the 'free zing' joke.

"Yes, very good!"

He grew up (in 3P) learning only Latin, all about communion hosts and reading books with big words. They never taught humour in 3P. I'm trying to help him before he returns to Wellington after 'yeras' in the Rei. I thought it best to start him on Nui style jokes and we can gradually work up from there. I do need to keep him away from Moera grammar though. 'They're grandma' is quite different in Moera.

Here's a joke for Peter to finish the post in style.

A man is walking down the road. He has a banana inserted in one of his ears. A passer-by asks, "Excuse me sir, do you know that you have a banana in your ear?" The man replies, "Sorry, I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear."

Ciao tutti.

Sabato.

 I really have nothing to report this morning, but when has that stopped me writing a post?

Rob is in Napier. I hope he's having a good time.

Peter is in Whangarei, I hope he's having a good time.

I'm in the Nui* and just finishing my coffee.

My coffee is finished now.

I'm trying to build up my double bass practice at the moment. I was a bit lazy yesterday and only did 30 minutes on the violin (as well as some double bass practice). Never mind, I can catch up today. 

The rain has stopped and I'm 'downstairs' at the computer (obviously) with my silly little heater going. I'm wearing a jacket. I'm still half in my pyjamas, but half sort of dressed. I really have no plans for today, except a trip to the supermarket and practice. One of our trees has been blown over, so I need to hire someone to take out that tree and three others. It's worth getting professionals in because they'll take the cut down trees away. I'll get onto that sooner rather than later. 

Shelley and I are going to see our grandsons tomorrow. That will be nice. Aunty will be there too and, of course, mum and dad.

Peter seemed to imply, in his last post, that we need more humour on the blogs.

Okay then, here are some great jokes to liven you all up.

Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

A guy asked his date to meet him at the gym, but she never showed up. I guess the two of them aren't going to work out.

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.

I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is going to happen, I can just feel it.

What has four wheels and flies? A rubbish truck.

Shelley was putting on her makeup. I told her that she drew her eyebrows too tight. She seemed surprised.

* * *

Ha, ha, ha! Hey, no need for thanks. I suppose that I'd better finish getting dressed. I bet that Peter liked the jokes!

See you soon.

Ciao tutti.

* Wainuiomata, where the girls are smarter.

Boy, I'm glad I'm not a catholic!

I just read Rob's latest post - 'No lustful looks when dating please'. Rob would say that, once you're baptised, you're always a catholic. Well, I just ripped what was left of my baptism right off! I'm not quoting from his latest post here. If you want to read it, you'll find his name in our LINKS list. I'm just glad to have absolutely nothing to do with that church!

I did my minimal requirement of one hour on the violin yesterday and fifteen minutes on the double bass. I feel a need to keep my double bass practice up. A fellow musician was moaning to me, the other day, about how difficult she found it to understand the tritone substitution. She plays trombone. On an instrument like the bass or the guitar it's rather easy to understand the tritone substitution. Here's an explanation, in case Pete and Rob are struggling with this too. 

Instead of playing Dm7 - G7 - Cmaj7 (II V7 I), all you do is move the roots down chromatically - Dm7 - Db7 - Cmaj7. The G7 notes (G B D F) get replaced by Db F Ab Cb. (Db could also be thought of as C# and Cb could be thought of as B).

So, you still have the 3rd and 7th of G7. The other two notes could be seen as the b9 (Ab) and the #4 (C#) of G7. That's pretty simple. When this chord happened, a trombonist could just play the 3rd and the 7th. Or the trombonist could just shut up (stop playing).

I'll do some more double bass today - remember those Atomic Habits.

Peter is writing some good posts on the state of the world - quite frightening really. How do selfish idiots like Trump, Putin and Netanyahu get to be in charge?

I'm presently halfway through reading Jacinda Ardern's book 'A DIFFERENT KIND OF POWER'.

I'd recommend it to everyone. Throughout the book you're subtly surrounded by empathy and kindness. Why can't world leaders be like her?

Ah well, that's me for this morning.

As Rob sort of says, at the end of his post, "Have fun and keep your clothes on, unless you're having a shower, going swimming, having a colonoscopy or getting changed."

Ciao tutti.

I woke up this morning.

 Okay, okay, a lot of blues songs start with that line - I woke up this morning.

When I woke up this morning, I picked up my phone and checked out the blogs.

Nothing new from Peter. A big surprise!                      NOT.

Rob wrote this, "Anyone who calls his brother 'fool' or 'renegrade' could answer for it in hell fire." As I continued to wake up, I wondered about the word 'renegrade'. I can promise you right now, I will never call Rob a renegrade because there is no such word in the English language. That means that I only have a 50% chance of going to hell!

Actually, there might be a little known band called Renegrade who wrote a song called 'Look at the World'. 

Listen HERE.

Maybe Rob likes that band with the misspelt name?

I looked them up.

"Renegade is an American rock n' roll band composed of Luis Cardenas, Kenny Marquez and Tony De La Rosa. Although all the band members hail from the United States, the band were among the most successful Hispanic or "Chicano rock" acts founded in the United States during the 1980s."

Oops, Sorry Rob, it looks like whoever put their song on Youtube misspelled their name. It wasn't you, was it, Rob?

Nothing to tell you about violin practice this morning. Sorry.

I must do some double bass practice at some point. 

I'm not working today (or tomorrow). Maybe Shelley and I will go to a movie, or something? We're not needed for big boy and baby sitting at the moment. We haven't seen H R and H V Prowse for over two weeks. Fortunately, we see lots of pictures on our chat app. I think we might be catching up with OUR first baby over the weekend. That would be nice.

I bought a new heater. It was cheap and is pretty useless. Never mind, I now wear a jacket when I come down here to post. 'Come down here' means that I go down two steps into what originally was a garage. That's where our computer lives. Actually, thje little heater is better than nothing. 

I guess that's it from me. I certainly haven't been a renegrade today!

Shau tooti*.

* I spelt that incorrectly to make Rob feel better. What a nice big brother I am!

No damn jam!

 

I didn't make it to the bluegrass jam. The old time jam guy learning songs came first. I gave up just before it finished. There were six of us when things got underway. Three banjos, one guitar, one fiddle and an acoustic bass guitar. One of the banjo players had a stack of songs he wanted to try learn and the 90 minute session involved people playing along while this guy tried to get his very simple songs right. A couple of people disappeared outside and a little play along / chat session seemed to develop out there. I left ten minutes before the bluegrass jam was due to start. Enough time wasted. Hey, a jam is where a group of musicians play tunes that everybody has had a chance to contribute to.

At least I have that art exhibition gig coming up! I found out that it doesn't really go for 6 or 7 nights. There is the opening night, where I play, then I'm welcome to come back and play in the gallery while the exhibition is on, which I will. 

We need a picture on this post.

No, this is not me cooking sausages.
It's just a random picture.

Here's another random picture.

According to Rob, these pictures will not induce as much hostility as spiritual things.

Well, Rob, that was quite a comment you left on my last post.

"I heard an account of an exorcism. There were several people including a protestant minister. The Catholics all went to confession before hand; but the protestant minister said he had no need as he went straight to God. In due course the exorcism began. Prayers were said and the first minor demon was easily expelled. The next demon was a higher level one. Satan is called the accuser because he loves to tell God about our sins. Anyway the demon looked at all the people present and was frustrated at finding no sin until he came to the protestant minister. The demon rapidly shouted 300 sins the minister had on his soul. Then another 300 more, followed by yet another 300!"

So, the poor old Protestant minister was carrying around 900 sins. Gosh, I'm probably carrying around more! I hate to think how many Peter might be carrying around! Mr. Linford would have been okay because he probably went to confession. I wonder if leaving the jam personal practice session early was a sin? I suspect that this 'rant' was written by a catholic. Why do they have it in for Protestants? They both believe in the same god. Hell! Rob even is happy to take money off them by cleaning their church - or is that a Presbyterian church? Though Presbyterians would be racking up sins too because they probably don't go to confession. 

"Satan is called the accuser because he loves to tell God about our sins." Actually, it sounds like Satan* might have written this rant because the author is telling god about the poor old Protestant's sins. 

"Ha, ha, ha, ha! Who's next?"

That's it from me.

Ciao tutti.

* not our ex-cat of the same name

Wheels Sunday

"And Peter knew Seaview as he had worked there in many years past." Richard 23:14

"And Peter asked Robert if he had ever lost an earring and Robert replied that he had heard a powerful wind from heaven. Peter spoke a foreign language - 'Mea culpa' and there was a smell." Ethiopians 6:6

"Peter asked Robert for forgiveness. Robert told him that an earring is never really lost and told him to follow in the steps of the woman."

"I will ask the father and he will give you another Earring that will be with you forever." Jim 15:7

"Peter made it clear that the earring did not belong to him, but the woman."

"You must put your faith in Richard, Robert told him, for he, and only he, is the finder of earrings."

"Peter knelt on his right knee and whistled The Wheels on the Bus." D Major I I V I

It's old time music and bluegrass day. Will I be able to last until the end? Patience. I don't mean people in a hospital, I mean just keep calm and listen. 

I've been asked to supply music for an art exhibition in Wellington in September. I think I'll use my solo repertoire. Evidently, I get to play for about six or seven days in a row. That'll be the most gigs I've had for many years! It's a good incentive to really brush up the tunes in my repertoire of over 30 tunes. I'm guessing that each gig will be about two hours in length. That would use about 24 of my tunes. Fun.

I'm not needed in the church shop today.

That'll give me a bit more time to do a really good warm up on my violin. 

I'm going to skip mass too today. Nothing unusual there. I wonder how many mortal sins I'm carrying around? Brother Leon notched up a few of those and probably still got into heaven with a deathbed confession.

I bet that criminals would like something like a 'deathbed confession'. It would probably be called something like a 'pre prison get off'. 

Ah well, I've entertained you enough for this morning.

Ciao tutti.

"Give me that old time music."

 Okay, I intend to go to the old time music and bluegrass jam on Sunday. I was looking for a tune that I could introduce to the 'old time' musicians. Then I remembered this old favourite, 'The Wheels On The Wagon.'

I played through it pizzicato to check the tune.

Then I put together the finished product.

This tune fulfils all the requirements for old time music - a simple chord structure and a tune that repeats.

I hope that Peter has found Lynn's earing that she lost in Seaview. Hey, I did offer to help!

A lot of Rob's recent posts have gone. The latest one left up is from June 1st.

Though the old nun survived.

Why does he do this? Maybe Jesus told him to?

Ah well, I guess he can do what he likes with his blog.

I'm off.

Ciao tutti.

The Earring Man.

 Okay here's a summary of me.

• Can't get a violin gig.
• Can't get a double bass gig.
• I'm a bit short of puff these days.
• Sometimes a trip to the supermarket is the highlight of my day.
• I don't get many comments on my blog.
• It's cold down by our computer because I can't find a suitable heater.

I bet now that even the other two bloggers around here are feeling sorry for me.

WELL DON'T!

Because I have one special gift, and I'm a genius at this activity!

I'd even go so far as to say I'm world class!

I'm THE EARRING MAN!

No, I don't wear them. Read on.

Whenever Shelley loses an earring, which is quite a common occurrence, especially after a Cleanskin or two...

I FIND IT!

I hate to boast, but I'm a specialist Sherlock Holmes!

Lose an earring anywhere and, by a series of deductions,

I WILL FIND IT!

If ever there was a special thing, like a gift from god...

god

...this is mine!

I'm just so special!

I AM THE EARRING MAN!

Lose an earring and I will find it - it's that simple.

This is raw talent!

Talent you just can't buy or practise up.

A cold Friday for me. I need a better heater by the computer.

But not for Robert. His blog is doing very well with comments lately. His comment about 'lose' women is proving quite popular. The guy certainly knows how to attract an audience! Peter visits him very early in the morning. Rob also has a picture, on his blog, of St. Faustina before she got ugly.

What about Peter's blog?

Shhh! We don't want to wake him!

He actually writes some good posts (and some not quite so good posts) but there is a long wait between them. I mean, he has got free reign over the office at the moment. There really are no excuses for his inconsistency.

I know I said I wouldn't, but I think I'll pop into the old time / bluegrass jam on Sunday. Sometimes it's just good to get out and have a play. I listened to some of what they call 'old time' music yesterday. It tends to be two chord music with lots of repetitions of the tune. It originated in parts of America. I'm glad I'm not a bass player playing that music! Maybe I could get to play the OBS*?

SGB** certainly wouldn't get a look in.

Well, that's it from me for this morning.

Ciao tutti.

* Orange Blossom Special

** Sweet Georgia Brown

Manhã de Carnaval.

 

Manhã, tão bonita manhã

De um dia feliz que chegou

O sol no céu, surgiu

E em cada cor, brilhou

Voltou o sonho, então, ao coração

* * *

Morning, such a beautiful morning

Of a happy day that has arrived

The sun in the sky, rose

And in every color, it shone

The dream then returned to the heart

* * *

I love this song, but it doesn't apply to the weather around here this morning. It is very wet and very windy.

The wind blew around all night

Enough to give cats and dogs a fright

With rain there was no joy in it

Sounded like Peter on the toilet

And my new heater is useless

* * *

Okay, so I'm sitting at the computer and wondering what to tell you. It'll soon be time to deliver the newspaper to my elderly neighbour. Got to keep her out of the weather. I may sound like a martyr, but she is a lovely person and a good friend. 

Really nothing to tell you about my violin practice, except that I only did 45 minutes yesterday. As I write, I hear a siren going off. Has a tree come down? I don't know. Maybe a car was driving too fast? Maybe a huge truck was trying to pass a car on the hill? We have a lot of trees in the Nui and a lot, near us, hang over (above) roads. The siren has stopped now. Hang on, I'll go and deliver that paper. 

Won't be long.

This guy is long.

Back now.

Did you like the tall guy joke? I bet Peter will have written that down, to use later. 

Good to see that Rob is having a good time in Feilding. He is back there this weekend.

Well, that's it for this morning.

Ciao tutti.

Just a filler post because I haven't got much time.

 

It's good to have Rob back commenting again. Peter has promised a post today too. It seems that everything is winding up on the blogs.

It's raining outside and shortly I need to drive to Upper Hutt*. As usual, I'll try to stay away from other drivers because everyone seems to be in such a hurry. The speed limit for trucks is 90kph, but they come roaring past at speeds that even exceed 100kph. Where are the traffic police? The Nui hill is a speed track with cars following each other very closely. They've obviously never learnt the basics of physics. Consequently, our road toll is up there with the worst and trucks seem to be making a noticeable contribution.

I like to get to school early so that I can do a violin warmup. I try to get in 30 minutes before the students arrive. I need to go over the chord progressions for my four solo pieces this morning. They need to be automatic, so that I can concentrate on other aspects when I am playing those pieces. 

Good luck at the doctor's this morning Peter. 

Have a good day at work Rob. It's nice to see that you're having a good social life.

I'm off now.

Ciao tutti.

* Just above Lower Hutt.

A cold morning.

 Time for a TC short style post.

Why are atheists similar to Catholics?

Catholics believe that 99% of religions are silly and just not true.

Atheists believe that 100% of religions are silly and just not true.

Not much difference.

* * *

Hey, go easy Rob! Brother Benedict used to love rugby!

On second thoughts...

 ...are TC and TFC really just the same guy?

This is TC. Note the bitten lip.

This is TFC. Note him biting his lip too.

Has Peter just been fooling us and are all these people in The Curmudgeon Ink really just him?

I mean, look at them all!

Wait, there's more!

You'll have to make your own decision on this one.