A Liardet Street boy finally 'comes out'.

 

After a lifetime of trying to hide the reality of his lifestyle, a man who once roughed it up and roamed with a hard bunch of boys known as The Liardet Street Boys has chosen to come out. We sent well respected Catholic apologist Evil Doctor Richard to get this man's story.

Evil Doctor Richard: Firstly, let me apologize for all the evil things the Catholic church has done. I'm here up north with someone who has something to say.

Peter: My name is Peter and I am a cyclist.

I guess it all started when I was a boy living with my family in Liardet Street. Okay, I liked the rough and tumble of being with the other kids in the street, until one day when I saw a bicycle. It all started pretty innocently with learning to balance the bike and just riding around a bit.

Evil Doctor Richard: So when did you notice that it was becoming a big pull in your life?

Peter: A friend and I started riding in tandem. You have to understand that there were quite a few steep roads around the area and in those days not many bikes had fancy gears. My friend started developing an attitude that cars would just have to wait behind us and I liked the idea. A little later I saw photos in an old Playboy of the Tour de France. There were cyclists wearing these magnificent clothes. All sorts of colours and they had a drink bottle attached to their bums. You have to understand that I only read those Playboys for the articles.

Evil Doctor Richard: So back then lycra would have seemed unattainable to a young boy who was still getting the feel of getting in the way on his bike and learning to feel superior to motorists.

Peter: Yes. I must admit that the cycle made you feel pretty special. On the road you resented motorists as lazy, unfit bastards and on the footpath you could sneak up behind pedestrians and scare the shit out of them. I certainly felt at home in this lifestyle.

Evil Doctor Richard: You've kept this lifestyle a secret for most of your life. I'm curious, what made you decide to 'come out'.

Peter: I don't know. Maybe it was the availability of lycra that was impossible to get when I was young. Maybe I just wanted to stop living a lie? It certainly felt right to have a water bottle in a pocket on my bum.

Then I discovered that there was a whole community of people just like me. I wasn't alone anymore. I wasn't a freak. We could ride in packs. We could block up major roads. On footpaths we were like kings. I guess this is the sort of person I was born to be.

Evil Doctor Richard: Thanks for sharing Peter. Can you move your bike out of the way now so I can get my car out. I'm due back in Lower Hutt later today. It's a long drive.

Peter: See, that's a thing that really pisses me off. You tell me that I'm in your way and all you're going to do is sit on your arse for hours. It would take me a few days to get to Lower Hutt but you just want to barge past!

Evil Doctor Richard: Look, I'll move your bike to a park of its own. It doesn't need to be leaning against my car.

Peter: Don't you dare touch my bike, you bastard! I know my rights.

Evil Doctor Richard: Look, I just want to get my car out.

Peter: Yes, it's always about you and your bloody cars!

Evil Doctor Richard: Don't worry. There's a bus leaving soon. I'll get that.

Peter: I don't care what you do. My bike has every right to be right where it is. Shit! I'm supposed to pick up The Old Girl! Where are my car keys?