Road Patrol at the Church Shop.

 Sunday.

Peter had proven himself at Whangarei Heads Primary as a top notch Crossing Supervisor. So much so that he'd been given command of the crossing outside the local church shop for one Sunday every month.

Peter had found that wearing his bicycle helmet seemed to give him more presence and made him look a bit like the traffic cops he remembered from his time at school. He'd used his voice to good effect when confronting stupid parents outside the primary school.

"Hey you, you cross at the crossing! This is a child safety zone." he'd yell to silly parents who were trying to skip across the road at any old place. He'd trained the children who were taking their turn to hold the stop signs to address him as 'Supe'. There was no question that Supe ran a tight ship. Even most of the parents were now addressing him by this name. News of change travels fast up by The Heads. Soon Supe was checking vaccination passes before he would let parents cross.

He suspected that his Sunday gig might be quieter. Then he saw his team. Some of the same school kids. "We're the Catholic ones." one little girl explained. "Okay, let's get the equipment out. Take my key and remember we need two of everything because there are two sides to the road." Supe ordered. They were all set up before the congregation for 9am mass started to arrive. Cars were parking all over the place and people looked like they would just go for the direct route - out of the car and across to the side the church and its shop were on. Supe was walking up and down the road pointing to the crossing. Some people were responding, probably because of the helmet, but some were just crossing where they were. Then a herd of cyclists arrived. They were riding on the wrong side of the road.

"Arrogant bastards!" Supe thought and he remembered that he had brought his multi-purpose golf club. He took it from a single club bag he was wearing over his right shoulder.  He ran into the middle of the road swinging it around. The cyclists, as one would expect, were indignant and the leading riders started shouting threats. The two children holding stop signs both turned to face the cyclists and held up their signs so that the other direction of the road was ignored. "We've got this Supe." said a little fat boy. The cyclists came to a halt but they were not pleased. "You're infringing on our right to use this road and to ride on the right hand side." one shouted grimly. The people from the cars had stopped crossing the road where they wanted. They thought better of crossing a golf club armed man wearing a helmet.

Supe wasn't phased by the cyclists and replied, "You come into my jurisdiction, you follow my rules. Now get off your bikes and walk them on the left hand side. Over there. Keep as far to the left as you can, I don't want to have to whack any tyres, they might puncture." There was authority in his voice and he had a multi-purpose club so the cyclists cowered and moved to the left hand side. A plastic drink bottle slipped out of a pocket on one cyclist's bum and bounced onto the road. "Leave it!" ordered Supe. "You can pick up another for a fair price at the church shop but right now the priest is ready to start mass so move along."

Experience outside the primary school had quickly taught Supe a lot - he was a hard man but he was fair. The multi-purpose golf club had paid off in a way that he had never considered when he bought it. The locals quickly came to appreciate that a multi-purpose golf club was weighted in such a way as to make it a very effective weapon. Supe had found his calling and was already tidying up a few roads near the Whangarei Heads. He made sure that multi-purpose golf club was hanging over that right shoulder whenever he was on duty and often thought to himself, "Expect the best but plan for the worst."