Let's take a look at god.

 

This is supposedly an image of god that some fairly well known / respected artist painted.

Come on! A perfect being who has been there forever would not be bald! Also, he wouldn't age.

Imagine eternity. Okay, okay, you can't really.

So, somewhere into living for eternity, maybe 2,300,634 trillion years into it, god decides that he needs a hobby - someone to love. Is he bored? Somewhere along the line he finished up with a son. Has the son been there for eternity? Did god not need a mother? These are hard questions to answer.

Anyway, god knocks out a pile of planets. Then he makes a man (Adam) who turns out to be a bit of a letdown. He makes him a woman (Eve) and tells him to bonk away. 

He gives them both belly buttons, probably so that their offspring won't ask awkward questions. 

Adam originally asks for the most beautiful woman that god can think up. God tells him that will cost an arm and a leg. Adam settles for what he can get for a rib.

Eve leads Adam astray (helped by a talking snake*) and god is very displeased.

"Hi. What's going on here?"

God wants to punish everyone, including 'humans' who aren't even conceived yet. He makes a big deal about it. Then, in his own mind, he can't sort out how to make it all right. Then he has an idea. He'll send this part of himself, who he refers to as a son, to go down and live among the humans. Then this 'son' will be brutally killed and that will get all the other humans back in line to coming home to live at his place. God tells the angels to start building lots of hotels.

God, who is perfect and knows everything, couldn't think of an easier, and less blood thirsty, solution.

Here are some solutions that didn't seem to cross god's mind:

• Hey, compared to eternity, it's not such a big deal. It was me who decided to make these humans. This is all happening in limited time. Let's just make a few minor patch ups.
• Oops. Adam needs a bit of work. Let's send him out to be with Eve and let's try again with Brent.
• Maybe I need a bigger base to work from. Ha, ha, I hear you, I'm not talking about a double bass! Let's set up twenty guys with twenty women. That'll give more diversity and probably negate the need for the snake to get involved.

Okay, if nothing else, you have to admit that, to get humans back on track, murdering your 'son' did not set a very good example. There must have been an easier and a gentler way.

Leave a comment if you can think of any ways to help god out.

Ciao tutti.

* Sometimes, when things aren't going that well, the last thing you need is a talking snake.