Nice one!

 

Nice one.

NOT!

I'm thinking about comments where a blogger drops into a language that they don't REALLY know to make a 'witty', or piercing, remark like...

Okay, maybe Rob says a few prayers in Latin, BUT there is only on place he would have found a phrase like that. On Google Translate.

The message he wants to give is that RBB is one of many fools who think there is no hell.

Rob told me recently that he knows people who are in hell, or something to that effect. I asked him to give me a few names and he obviously couldn't. One can only assume that Rob is a liar. For Christ's sake, the avatar he uses isn't even him.

Rob has a catch phrase, "Have fun boys, but don't sin."

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive." Walter Scott.*

Copying out another language off Google Translate doesn't really give you the upper hand. For example, I could say, "नरक नामक किसी स्थान का कोई प्रमाण नहीं है।"

Once you guessed that it was in Hindi, you could just copy it into Google Translate. 

You'd get, "There is no proof of a place called hell." There you go, I did it for you.

Am I a genius, someone you might be scared to argue with, because I did that?

I'm off. I have a busy day.

Ciao tutti.

* I changed 'practice' to 'practise'. At least I'm being honest.

I slept in!

 

No, this is not me. I'm considerably older
and no longer sleep with my teddy.

Though, that wasn't always the case. I remember, in primary school days, being sick and spending the day in bed. There was a knock at the door - a couple of my friends had come to see me. Shamefully, I had to hide my teddy under the blankets.

Anyway, I slept in until after eight. 

I've got quite a few things to do today, including violin practice. I've cut my second finger on my right hand, so I'll probably have to leave double bass practice for a little while.

I'm planning to go to a Bluegrass jam later in the afternoon tomorrow. I've been practising Bluegrass techniques. I won't give you details. I know no one is very interested. That's fine. Anyway, Rob will be too busy writing a list of people he knows who have gone to Hell.

"Now, let me see, it's a good
guess that Gregory Watson
is there, and, and..."

Relax Rob and play your cello - there is no hell! How could you possibly know who is there?

I don't know what Peter is up to today. He's probably planning dinner.

"I'll use the air fryer tonight.
Maybe I'll make noodles with
Gregorian sauce and a cucumber
salad. I'll dig out a bottle of Peaupropre*
Champagne from France."

Peter won't be driving to the tip today - that means all the other people backing trailers there can relax.

Well, I'd better get moving.

see more

Ciao tutti.

* Don't forget to use Google Translate to check this name

We march forward. aka Ring the bell for hell.

||:4/4 Am / / / | Am / / / | F / / / | F / / / :||

[Background voices to one pitch] "We're not going well, ring the bell for hell.                                    We're not going well, ring the bell for hell."

| C / / / | C / / /|

We march forward,

| Fmaj7 / / / | Fmaj7 / / / |

Looking at the sky.

| Am / / / | Am / / / |

We march forward,

| Bm7b5 / / / | E7 / / / |

Heads held high.

| C / / / | C / / /|

Some have stories

| Fmaj7 / / / | Fmaj7 / / / |

They'd like to tell,

| Am / / / | Am / / / |

Thinking of evil,

| Bm7b5 / / / | E7 / / / |

Let's invent Hell.

| F / / / | F / / / |

Keep it on the level,

| F#o7 / / / | F#o7 / / / |

We will need a devil.

| Em / / / | Em / / / |

A supernatural bod

| A7 / / / | A7 / / / |

We will call god.

| Dm / / / | Dm / / / |

Some will not believe,

| Am / / / | Am / / / |

But time will tell.

| Dm / / / | Dm / / / |

They will start to grieve

| E7 / / / | E7 / / / |

When they awake in hell!

| C / / / | C / / /|

We march forward,

| Fmaj7 / / / | Fmaj7 / / / |

Looking at the sky.

| Am / / / | Am / / / |

Heads held high

| Bm7b5 / E7 / | Am / / rest ||

Until it's time to say goodbye.

"Go to Hell!"

 

"Welcome. This way to Hell,"

I got a comment, on my last post, from Rob, and he wrote something in French.

We wrote, "Menthe poivrée recouverte de carottes râpées."

Actually, Rob doesn't speak French, so he used Google Translate. His message was, "Peppermint topped with grated carrots." Actually, it was the second statement in his comment, written in English, that was more 'interesting'.

"Did you know that most people in hell didn't believe it existed."

That was actually a question, so it should have read, 

"Did you know that most people in hell didn't believe it existed?"

Can you spot the difference?<----------- A question mark.

If Rob's question was correct, he'd have a list of quite a few people who are actually in Hell.

I can promise you that he doesn't.

Okay, he might say that Adolf Hitler is there.

A guess, again.

For all he knows, Adolf might be relaxing in the sun, somewhere near a beach. Okay, it might not be our sun. Anyway, I'm only guessing. Maybe Adolf just doesn't exist anymore?

So, what harm is Rob doing with his remark about people finding that Hell is true because people are finding themselves in it?

Well, I have a grandson who will turn two at the end of this month. I've got to tell you that his pitching of songs is very, very impressive. When he sings 'The Wheels on the Bus' on his own, with no backing, he sings it in D. That's the same key that the song is generally recorded in. Not bad for a two year old. Obviously, I want this little chap to have, as much as is possible, a happy life. Especially while he is young. When his dad was young, they let Christian nutters into his school. Who knows what shit he was told? As an aside, I remember his dad bringing home a poster that read, "God is Levo." I was pleased that he'd got the wrong message. 

I, and his dad, do not want Harrison being told scary stories about places like Hell. Kids have enough to learn and to worry about without this nonsense.

I repeat:

Rob does not know anyone who is in a place called Hell. He can quote scriptures, and all the rest, but HE HAS NO PROOF.

Ciao tutti.

Hell's Bowels.

 Here's a good riddle that will have you laughing when you get the answer...

WHAT DO YOU CALL A PEPPERMINT THAT IS COVERED WITH GRATED CARROT?

Only smart bloggers can work this one out!

Good luck. Leave your answer in a comment.

Off to work.

It's raining and I'm about to head off to work.

I'll do a violin warmup before my first students arrive.

I won't give you details of my warmup because it might be boring, and we wouldn't want that.

Ciao tutti.

Two days without practising, but I'm just having a potato top pie with plum sauce.

 Yes, I know, that's two pies in two days. As Rob's friend Chesterton might say, "That's the same free will that'll get you into hell." And as Gloria (my mum) would have said, "It'll either cure it or make it worth having."

For those of you who don't read Rob's posts, here's what this guy Chesterton (I have no idea who he is or was) is supposed to have said, "hell is God's great compliment to the freedom of human choice". It wasn't my idea to start the quote without a capital letter. 

That's an interesting one. It's sort of like a twist - "Okay, you can have freedom of choice, but with that comes hell." God evidently said.

I think that God was 'havin' a laugh'.

Anyway, back to my practice. I haven't done a lot of double bass practice this year - that's something that I need to put right. It's just that I have no gigs on the horizon. Though, what I should be doing is recording my numerous original bass pieces. 

I have done quite a lot of violin practice, but I'd like to do more - there's still that Caprice 24 to get completely sorted. I still have about 75 hours to go there.

There's a little bluegrass jam happening in Petone on Sunday. If I can, I'll pop in for that. I have two pieces that I wouldn't mind trying out - Blue Moon of Kentucky and the Orange Blossom Special. Though, at jams like this, you don't necessarily get to play the tunes you have practised, but that's okay.

Well, I'll leave you there for today.

Ciao tutti.

Meat pie with plum sauce.

 This is my first meal since around 1pm yesterday. There was a colonoscopy in between. The pie and the sauce both come from a local shop. I cooked the pie from frozen and it's not too bad. The sauce is nice too.

Peter has written a new post. It's about him fixing his washing machine. Hey, before you get cynical, Rob has built a big scary woman and written a book about her. Well, his post is long enough to be a book.

God has punished Rob by sending him to the dentist and by making people not be able to leave comments on his blog posts.

I spent at least six hours at Hutt Hospital today, after getting up at 5am to drink stuff that makes you shit water for hours. So I'm a bit tired. Remember that God has not forbidden comments on my and Peter's blogs, so don't be afraid to leave a few thoughts. 

Have fun.

Ciao tutti.

And then there were two.

Comments are off the board at Rob's blog again and photos of Peter and Richard (who Robert once said he loved) have been replaced by 'holy people'.

I don't know how long this situation will last.

Ah well, it's his blog to do with what he wants. 

* * *

I have a colonoscopy on Monday. A colonoscopy is a procedure with only one way in.

Clue: Your mouth isn't involved.

It has taken four months, since being referred for it by a doctor, for the procedure to come about. The times of waiting have not been altogether pleasant - there have been a few 'very interesting' events. Believe me, you don't want details.

I don't think there is a The Colonoscopy Curmudgeon. If there was, he'd write blogs with titles like, "Just stick it up your arse." and "That's a bummer." Maybe I shouldn't be encouraging this.

I did half an hour's practice on the double bass this morning. That's not really enough but it keeps my hand in. After that the double bass wanted to climb into my bed. I put her back on her stand. Bloody hell! These instruments can push the limits! I bet you Peter's bagpipes don't get to sleep in his bed.

I'll do some violin practice shortly. Sorry Peter, that wasn't me calling you 'Shorty'. I said, "shortly."

Oh yes, it's his eyes that have been playing up and not his ears. My bad.

They're knocking me out for the colonoscopy. Evidently, I wriggled too much for the last one. That was quite a few years ago. Since I've had to wait so long, it could mean that the poo sample and the blood test weren't too bad. Fingers crossed. If you have never had a colonoscopy, the preparation part is the worst. You have to drink this liquid that makes you go to the toilet very, very quickly. AND often. It goes on for quite a long time. 

I don't know what I'll practise on the violin this evening - I have had a couple of Cleanskins.

Well, tomorrow night will be a dry night, and the one after. I don't yet know what happens after that. I'll find out soon enough.

Off to practise.

Ciao tutti.

Good morning again.

 I accidently published today's post before I had finished.

"Oh no!" as my grandson, who doesn't need to be told bullshit about hell, would say.

Sorry but I haven't updated you about my music practice.

I generally don't get to practise on Thursdays because I mind my grandson and, counting travel time, that takes ten hours out of my day. But, hey, it is worth it to spend time with the little fellow and watch his weekly development. Also, he really likes my jokes and he doesn't mind if I write RBb instead of RBB. Yesterday I was a bit tired but I did a good hour on the violin, with the help of a couple of Cleanskins.

Today I must give some time to my double bass. 

I'll get into it shortly.* Always remember to start with some long bows. Though I'm sure that Peter knows that.

Okay, that's enough for today.

Ciao tutti.

an old photo

* I don't mean that I'll actually get inside the bass! (That's the sort of joke that they like way up north.)

Good morning. Well, what the hell did you expect me to say in the morning?

News around the blogs:

The Curmudgeon (aka Wrong and Newie Peter) is making jokes about a typo I made - I wrote RBb instead of RBB on a comment. Ah well, it's good to see him practising some humour because 'Wrong and Newie' humour sure needs some work.

Rob now calls himself 'Robert son of Robert' and is preaching that young children should be warned about hell, even though it doesn't exist. Does he relish the idea of giving them nightmares? The comments are really building up on his blog, after he banned them for a while.

Well, that's it.

Have fun but don't tell young children scary lies.

RBb (just for Peter)