I bought a new set of wheels today.

 

I bought this blue beast at a car auction in Wellington.

Two reasons...

• I want to look cool as I speed over Transmission Gully and
• I received recognition today that I am, in fact, a bit of a speedster.

I'm also saving up for this...

THE BACK STORY.

Okay, for too long now, the Prowses have been laughed at for being slow drivers. People used to joke about my older brother, saying that, when he was driving, you could walk past him. I've even put up with cynical remarks from my own son, once for doing 80kph on a motorway. Okay, I WAS a slow driver, but all that changed on the 17th. of this month. 

"Drove a vehicle on Ohiro Road at a speed exceeding 50 kilometres per hour being an offence detected by approved vehicle surveillance equipment."

I was evidently doing 58kph!

I'm a speed freak!

I proudly paid the $30.

Okay, I know that, if I want to pass trucks on Transmission Gully that are doing well over 100kph, I need a bigger motor. By the way, the speed limit for trucks on this stretch of road is 90kph, but that doesn't seem to get policing. Instead, the police are rightfully busy catching old men who have been to the tip and have over-accelerated a bit to get up a slightly steep incline.  

Some of those trucks on Transmission Gully, and other roads, are huge. If I weren't such a speed freak myself, I'd question who was giving these truck drivers heavy trade licences. Are they teaching them basic physics? You know what I mean - how far does it take such a huge machine to stop if something goes wrong?

Not my business because I'm a speedy guy too now. 

First thing for me is to start doing 90kph on motorways. Dammit!

We speed freaks know that it is the slow drivers who are dangerous because they hold everyone up and make them late for very important engagements. Also, it makes them look like their huge vehicles are not fast enough and, when these slow big vehicles are driven by men, it makes people guess that they might have a small penis.

I feel like someone who has just found religion!

Hey, my new ute is really powerful and fast, so watch out all you dawdlers! 

And just wait until I get that new white beast!

Speed! Speed! Speed! Don't be the one to hold me up!

I'm in a hurry and I AM IMPORTANT!

Ciao tutti.