Father banana gives a sermon.

 

Father Banana

"Hi, I'm Father Banana. I'm filling in for Father Orange because he's feeling a bit off colour this morning. I guess you could say he's looking a bit brown, but he is certainly not a bad apple.

Suppose one of you has a friend to whom you go at midnight and say,

'Friend, lend me three passionfruit, for a friend of mine has arrived at my house from a journey
and I have nothing to offer him,'
He replies, 'Do not bother me; the door has already been locked and my children and I are already in bed. I cannot get up to give you anything. Actually, you can pick a few apples off my apple tree if you want. Some are starting to fall, but they don't fall far from the tree.'

Okay, I know you wanted passionfruit but, think about it, the guy who arrived at your house is blind. Would he really spot the difference? He might notice the different texture, but it's worth a try.

This is called making the most of a bad situation. Jesus had to do the same thing when he finished up on a cross next to two criminals. Maybe they were the equivalent of today's gang members? Jesus probably thought it was safer to be nice to them. Records show that he told them his name was Sheesh. 

You see, Sheesh Jesus was playing it safe. 

He does the same thing with your prayers. I mean, a lot of people ask for silly shit.

'Can you make me beautiful?'

'I need a new car.'

'Can I have twenty bucks?'

Then he gets people who just bother him.

'Lord, please appear to me.'

'Jesus, be my special friend please.'

'Hey, I had bad thoughts the other night. Please forgive me.'

Can you imagine Jesus lying awake in Heaven because some people (probably quite a big bunch of them) are having bad thoughts? Think thoughts about bonking or wanking here.

Hey, He has wars to stop, diseases to wipe out. He hasn't got time to worry about people who are wanking. This is one reason why He never seems to get around to stopping wars or turning off cancer.

He does like to help Christian rugby players score tries because they give Him recognition by pointing up to Heaven. Remember, the Lord works in mysterious ways.

Well, that's it from me for today. Let's give the praying a bit of a break. Just point to Heaven if something good happens to you."