This one's for TC.

 

TC

Okay, I've had a request for my latest Christmas letter. The only reason why I didn't post it is that the letter contains a quiz I did a few weeks back but, in hindsight, it might be good for both Peter and Robert to have another crack at the quiz. The answers are also in the letter, so that should help them. Good luck boys.

Here it is...

CHRISTMAS LETTER 2023

Hi, Richard (of RBB) here. I’m a guy who lives with two women, my wife (Shelley) and my daughter Steph (though I often call her Nef), and I take care of the vacuuming and cutting the lawns.

In 1984 I married the love of my life and, soon after, had two beautiful children.

Here’s my problem, in 2023 I fell in love with somebody else!

Sorry to throw this news at you.

The person I fell in love with is actually male, AND he’s a lot younger.

A lot, lot younger.

Sorry if this shocks any of you.

He’s just a really nice guy and he can sit up without assistance. He’s very handsome too and loves a cuddle. He also loves to smile and seems to love my jokes (Unusual!).

Shelley has been very understanding and seems very fond of him too. I feel a bit agitated when he gives her too much attention. I guess he’s just a very generous guy and that is one of the reasons I love him so much.

His name is Harrison. I’ve known his father for a rather long time and I’m embarrassed to say that I am actually old enough to be his grandad. His father’s name is George and I must admit that it amuses me that, if you put both of their names together, it gives the name of a Beatle (George Harrison).

Shelley said it would be fine if Harrison comes over and stays the night sometime soon. She’s a very understanding person, and I can tell that she is getting very fond of Harrison herself. Unfortunately, Harrison still has a bit of a problem with walking and finds it hard to move around. We’ll be patient and wait until he feels ready. I think it’s fair to say that we both love him very much.

* * *

Okay, by this time you don’t really want to hear about my (our) year month by month, so here’s a quiz – an attempt to keep your interest up. I suspect that quite a few people never finish my Christmas letters.

This quiz is multichoice, so even our not so bright readers are in with a guessing chance! 

I’ll give the answers at the end. Please don’t cheat and look at the answers first.

So, without further ado, let's get started!

1) Where is Whangarei?

a) In the South Island of NZ. b) In Canada. c) Near Petone. d) Settentrionale di Auckland. e) None of these. (clue – it helps to know a bit of Italian)

2) Who wrote 'All Blues'?

a) Miles Davis. b) Val Doonican. c) Mick Jagger. d) Wayne Shorter. e) None of these. (okay – I know that most of you don’t like jazz)

3) The chord Em7b5 is made up of which notes?

a) E  G  Bb  D.  b) E  F#  G  B.  c) B#  C  Eb  F.  d) E  G  Bb  Db.  e) None of these. (a tricky one for those who don’t like jazz)

4) Sister Sicilia was known as what?

a) Sorella del sud. b) The Sicilian bitch. c) Nanny nun. d) None of the Es.  e) None of these.

5) What part of the word 'homeowner' reminds you of a cat?

a) The homeowner because he has a cat. b) His kindness to animals. c) The cat food in his kitchen. d) meow. e) None of these.

6) What was Beethoven's favourite fraction?

a) 3/4. b) Da, da, da, da. c) A fraction of the 2nd. violin section. d) Ludwig. e) None of these.

7) Who wrote 'The last straw'?

a) Richard. b) Leonard Bernstein. c) Lee Child. d) Country Joe McDonald. e) None of these. (a bit of a trick question)

8) Where was Winston Peters born?

a) In a cigarette factory. b) Pen Island. c) Wellington Zoo. d) In a tent. e) None of these.

9) Transubstantiation is a big word. I might have spelt it wrong. How do you spell it?

a) Transubstantiation. b) Trainsubstantiation. c) Transsubstantiation. d) it. e) None of these.

10) What is brown and looks like a stick?

a) Not sure. b) A pedestrian crossing. c) A walking stick. d) a broom. e) A stick.

* * *

Okay, here are the answers…

1) d) Settentrionale di Auckland. (hey, I did warn you about this one)

2) a) Miles Davis. (give it a listen, it’s on the album ‘Kinda Blue’)

3) a) E  G  Bb  D. (sorry about that one, non musicians or Classical musicians)

4) d) None of the Es. (I bet that one stumped a few of you)

5) d) meow. (you should have got that one)

6) b) Da, da, da, da. (Beethoven’s 5^th)

7) a) Richard. (well, I actually wrote the whole letter)

8) e) None of these. (I don’t know where he was born)

9) d) it. (come on, that’s a very old joke)

10) e) A stick. (pretty bloody obvious)

* * *

Well, there you go, the Christmas Letter done for another year.

We, in Willis Grove, hope that you all have a brilliant end to the year and that things are as good as they can be. We send you all our love and best wishes.

And, yes, Harrison is my grandson (born 31 March 2023) and we are all madly in love with him! Ciao tutti. Buon Natale e Buon Capodanno. xxx

"Good one, Grandad!"