Now it's getting serious!

 We at Richard's Bass Bag* awoke to this headline!

Now it's getting serious!

We, at 'the bag', immediately got on the phone to try to get more information but it seems that most wine reporters are 'sleeping it off' on a Sunday morning or perhaps they're helping out at their local church shop.

In desperation Luckily we were able to get in touch with The Wine Guy, a blogger who writes about wine and the people he has upset in bars and restaurants. 

He was happy to come into our Auckland studio at very short notice. Fortunately we had well known Catholic Apologist Evil Doctor Richard standing by in an Auckland motel - we at 'the bag' like to be prepared.

Evil Doctor Richard: Firstly, please let me apologize for the evil things the Catholic church has done over the centuries. Mr Wine Guy, thank you for coming into the studio at very short notice.

The Wine Guy: Sheesh! No problem. This is a serious headline!

Evil Doctor Richard: It's probably a good idea to get one thing sorted first. They say there are staff shortages. Could this be a regular problem on a Sunday morning because staff probably tend to have a glass or three too many of their product after work on a Saturday?

The Wine Guy: No! Not at all! Most wine staff are very professional. Anyway, they'd be drinking good wine and not the cheap stuff that I hear your boss in Lower Hutt drinks.

Evil Doctor Richard: So what are the main problems that this could cause for the country besides less drunk people?

The Wine Guy: Sorry Evil Doctor Richard but most people don't drink wine to get pissed. With a good wine there are fruit flavours to be tasted.

Evil Doctor Richard: You mean that they taste these flavours and then get pissed?

The Wine Guy: [getting a bit agitated] No! There are other reasons for drinking wine besides getting pissed. 

Evil Doctor Richard: Well, why don't these people who don't want to get pissed just eat fruit?

The Wine Guy: You're missing the point. Drinking good wine is like a hobby or a mission in life. Drinking good wine is a process. Anyway, they'd have to have a large variety of fruit on hand if they didn't drink wine. Let's talk about how bad weather can effect a wine crop.

Evil Doctor Richard: Okay, how can bad weather effect a wine crop?

The Wine Guy: Well, it's unpleasant to work in and the workers tend to drink more wine afterwards. Then we tend to get staff shortages. You know, people off work with headaches and the like.

Evil Doctor Richard: There's a story going around that you once upset a pregnant waitress.

The Wine Guy: Look, the silly bitch gave me a beer instead of a wine. This story has gotten way over the top. Anyway, it was years ago. I'm going home. Look, I mean, if only you knew some of the stuff I've had to put up with. Some wanker in a restaurant once brought out a chilled bottle of red. I think he was trying to make it taste more expensive. I had to go back the next day, when I was sober, to complain. You want to try writing a wine blog! Everyone is a bloody expert! I need a drink. [walks out]

Evil Doctor Richard: Well, it seems this interview is over on this serious day when our wine supply is threatened. I guess this is why we have beer and spirits. Hey, drink carefully out there and don't spill any.

The red wine in this picture is not chilled.

* the original bass bagging site