Okay, here it is... H2SO4.

 This is just a rough, one off, recording with a few mistakes in the riff and the words, so here are the lyrics...

I want to be a science teacher
In a secondary school.
In a lab of my own
With a Periodic Table on the wall.
With all sorts of bottles and tubes
I’d use a beaker as a coffee cup.
I’d have a set of Bunsen Burners
And matches to light them all up.
I’d be the master of my laboratory
I’d hang my white coat from a hook on the door.
And if I needed the lavatory
I’d try not to spill uric acid on the floor.


Chorus:

Science teacher in Room 24
A key to every cupboard and drawer.
Which ionic compound shall I choose today?
H2SO4.

I’d get to know my acids from my bases
By counting the hydrogens.
I’d draw ions with little faces
And hang them up with pins.


Chorus:

Science teacher in Room 24
A key to every cupboard and drawer.
Which ionic compound shall I choose today?
H2SO4.


I’d hand out books on the Solar System
And point out the Earth and the Sun.
On a tripod I’d heat up some diluted acid
Just to make life more fun.

Chorus:

Science teacher in Room 24
A key to every cupboard and drawer.
Which ionic compound shall I choose today?
H2SO4.
REPEAT CHORUS

And here's the video...