Wally hung onto the sticky rope and readied himself to swing across the canyon. The drop was long, but he had a good head for heights. He could see that others were up to similar activities.
Once he had come across a temporarily misplaced mobile phone. It had been left turned on.
The page it showed was by someone called The Curmudgeon, a blogger who got most of his ideas from someone else. He'd unintentionally bumped the machine and it brought up a picture of someone called William John Hazard. He couldn't make sense of the post.
He thought, "If you're trying to take on a pile of sailing ships, you'd be better not to wear such an obvious red top. A red flag to a bull!"
There was no more information about what brought William into the post. Some advice was given that didn't seem to have a direct relationship with what had been written so far.
"Bitterness is common. I think the way out of depression is to extend a kind welcome when none is given. To provide a meal without expecting thanks. There may be other ways too."
Wally returned to the present. The jump had been successful. When the job was completed, he might be able to provide a meal. That, after all, was the purpose behind his endeavour. However, one thing was for sure, he had no intention of providing a meal for his competition.
Then it happened.
A huge broom was sweeping over everything. He saw others running for shelter. Most were heading upwards, which seemed like the safest place to be. Wally was stunned. Was this the prophesized event that the old ones had often talked about? Left, right and centre traps were being destroyed. He briefly wondered if the post about William John Hazard was some sort of warning. Was this the Day of Reckoning?
Richard (of RBB) had two heavy shelves to move more closely together so that there was room for another two. This would give him space to move the boxes off the floor. The cobwebs he found were a nuisance but one that could be dealt with. He imagined the room with everything off the floor and the stuff on the bed put away, somehow, in the adjoining room. He was a man with a plan and a clear goal. Assembling the shelving would be the hardest part. He remembered the last two shelves and how he had read the assembly instructions.
"Rubber Hammer not included."
This time there would be no need for a trip to the local hardware store.
5 commenti:
I like this post.
I'm looking forward to part two - WALLY BITES RICHARD ON THE ARSE.
I hope it all went well with the shelving Mr IKEA and that you didn't hurt your back.
Grazie Mille (though I'm forbidden to use that language with my grandson, not that I get to see him much). It's a big job that I'm doing and I'm sure that you could turn it into a series. Do you know any pregnant waitresses who I could include in the story? Maybe I need to include a storm that blows over outside furniture? I'm really in your territory now. I await your advice.
Photographs are a good addition to stimulate interest with readers - especially Robert. With Robert it's always wise to include his name frequently - Robert, as Robert only reads posts with his name, Robert, in them. Also, throw in some religious terms, preferably Catholic ones like nuns, host, tabernacles and the Virgin Mary's knickers. That always gets him going.
Stretch it out a bit - don't shoot your bolt in the first post. Add in a bit of drama like - "the shelving unit almost FELL OVER!" - that sort of stuff. Finding something interesting under the shelves you move is always a good ploy (not spiders) and especially ones that have a bit of history and mystery to them. This can spin out to a long series and, if you don't delete the posts and the entire blog as you are wont to do are useful to be included in future blog posts as 'flash-backs'.
I trust that this helps.
Thank you, oh grate one.
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