The last day of the year.

 31/12/24.

I just reread Peter's (aka The Curmudgeon) latest self-congratulatory post.

I heard that he's thinking of changing his blogging name from The Curmudgeon to Mr. Perfect.

The first thing that is standing in his way is proofreading.

Let's check out his latest post for accuracy.

1) Can you find it?

Well, The Curmudgeon couldn't. Or perhaps The Curmudgeon Ink welcomes sloppiness.

2) Have you ever played tennis tennis or rugby rugby?

Is there such a thing as tennis golf or netball rugby?
I might have a game chess wrestling. (Notice too, the absence of 'of'.)

If I were giving a report card to The Curmudgeon's blog, I'd simply write, "Sloppy. E+. Learn to proofread before you start judging other blogs."

Okay, okay, I was generous with the E+.

By the way, out of all the other blogs TC seems to have rated Robert's in first place. 

Well, I assume that this comment means he is rated highest, "The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ judging panel awarded high points for its modern layout, minimalistic prose-style, edgy photography and this wrap-up which provided a classic Trent Horn quote."

That's maybe because they're both probably MAGA supporters. 

Ciao tutti.

See you next year.

New Year's Eve Eve.

Okay, today I need to find some sort of shelf for all my music bits and pieces - mics, music, leads, etc., etc. This job is defined as 'tidying up'. It is loosely related to 'downsizing', except that you get to keep everything.

Tomorrow is party time! I'll head into a popular bar in Wellington and see the new year in. I'll stagger home at about 2.30am.

NOT

The Times They Are A-Changin'.

At this point Peter would present this song - HERE.

Robert could learn it on his cello.

I 'fiddled' on Robert's cello in the music shop last Saturday - there was the salesman, an old friend, and me and Rob - only three of us in the shop. The salesman said, "At this moment you two are the best cellists in the shop." Then he pointed out that I could never compete with someone who dressed like this...

Okay, he had a point. Especially
as you sit down to play the cello.

Enough about cellos.

Only two days before I start my new practice diary. Exciting!

Better than going out on the town!

I'd finally like to get my bass compositions (or some of them) played in public. I'll most likely go with a guitarist and a drummer. I already know them all pretty damn well but playing them live will be different. I need to use some good promotion. In Wellington there are two jazz organizations that use the letters WJC - Wellington Jazz Club and Wellington Jazz Co-op. I doubt whether either of them would be at all interested in me, so I thought of starting a third WJC. Maybe 'Withering Jazz Composers' or something similar. Then I could head up my posters with,

"WJC presents Richard Prowse in concert."

It's all about promotion. 

...and what 'self-titled experts' say about you.

That's it from me this morning.

Ciao tutti.

Resolutions for the new year.

 

Oops, sorry, wrong year but you get the idea.

Okay, here we go, resolutions for the new year.

• Get my double practice up with more regular practice and get my solo repertoire played in public.
• Get ready for some solo violin performances.
• Work towards some performances with Robert.
• Spend less time on the couch, though reading Reacher has made a nice break over this period.
• Keep fit but look after the aging body.
• Get my jokes up to standard for when Peter returns.
• Teach Peter some Wine-oo-EOmartyr style jokes so that he can fit in around here and won't embarrass himself by going on about expensive champagne.
• Avoid expensive dental visits. Hey, they're only teeth.
• Going to 'il supermercato' is not really an outing.
• Build a well, instead of a fishpond, on our property. Then we can eat well. 
• That's about it.

Three days to go now! My diary for the new year is ready.

Naturally I'll be recording all my violin and double bass practice in this.

I hope you are as ready for the new year!

Ciao tutti.

Questo post del blog è stato eliminato dall'autore.

Ha, ha, just joking!

It's a sunny day in YnewEOmartyr.

The sky is blue and there is currently no wind.

dried currents

Robert mentioned that he is interested in getting a cello (full name: violoncello).

In a very witty moment, I said that he would need some of this...

'cellotape'

I bet that made Peter laugh!

Or perhaps he just
smiled?

He's still up in WrongAWay downsizing. I think he plans to go to the tip today. This time of the year he will be hindered by blokes with trailers who can't back.

Ah, that's the Christmas break for you!

Four days left now before I start my new practice diary. I must get my double bass practice hours up this year. I don't get many bass gigs these days. I'll have to do something about that for next year.

Ciao tutti.

Preparing for 2025.

Friday 27th. December.

Five days left (including today).

Gosh, I need to say something wise to keep this post going!

Well, I only got one comment on my last post.

I need a picture too - anything will do. I mean, it's only Friday 27th. December. It's not New Year's Eve or New Year's Day.

And now, a wise saying...

"I'd rather be a naive member of the elect than a calumnious member of the damned"

I think Tent Horn said that.

Or someone with a similar name.

* * *

Hey, I need a New Year's resolution too!

Do I need to change something or take on something new?

I guess I could start eating asparagus. Nope.

Let's make a list of possibilities - that's always a good way to start.

• Read The Bible?
• Downsize?
• Take up tennis?
• Mow the lawns twice a week, whether they need it or not?
• Build a fishpond?
• Get rid of our trees and put all the birds in a little cage?
• Start practising the viola?
• Devote the rest of my life to playing Scottish music?
• Rewrite The Bible?
• Become a motor mechanic?
• Become a fertilizer salesman?
• Open a tip shop?
• Make and sell spouting?
• Upsize?
• Start a snail farm?
• Tune my violin like a double bass? 

Gosh, the possibilities are endless!

Here's another picture, to keep your interest.

Do hacksaws get enough credit for the work that they do?

I'll leave you with that thought.

Ciao.

Box Sing Day.

 

I don't quite get the relevance of Box Sing Day, so I decided to look it up in the bible.

Ron 23:77

Peter had been giving sermons on the value of not having too many things. On one occasion he talked to the Moerans. 

"On Christmas Day a candle was left on a table in the hot Wainuian sun. A Moeran who was present was shocked by its new form.

A Wainuian who was present decided that he was the owner and carried it everywhere he went.

The Wainuian women folk were not impressed and told him to downsize. In a moment of rage, he threw it into a box and started to sing an angry song.

"I've got plenty of nothin'."

We all have things that we don't really need. The Wainuian decided to downsize to a smaller, but straighter, candle. Let this candle, and its size, serve as a lesson to what we really need. Thanks be to Dog."*

* Oops, sorry, that last word was a typo like you often see in Peter's and Robert's posts. See, as well as downsizing, proofreading is important.

Tree fellers wanted.

 

Hi Peter, do you think I'm pretty?

Okay, okay, this is what happens when you've lived with two women for three years. I'm back down to one now, as my daughter has moved out. I promise to be more masculine in future. Though, don't forget that the bible is not called the heterosexualble.

Okay, let's get on with it.

Sometime last night one of our trees split in half.

Quite a big, and heavy, branch fell off.

Shelley woke me just before 7am. She'd been out delivering our elderly neighbour's paper and saw what had happened.

I thought for a short time and decided to make a sign.

I thought that someone in the neighbourhood might be able to help.

A little later two Irish neighbours were out for a walk. They saw the sign and one said to the other, "Tis a pity that Sean isn't here. We could have applied for that job." Then they walked on.

It was approaching 8am and I had a busy day ahead. I decided to cut up the half tree and take it to the tip in my car. Boy, that big main branch was heavy, and too big to cut with a handsaw (which was all that I had), but I got the job done.

The end result.

I couldn't work out how to fit that big branch into my car. Then I remembered my double bass. I dropped down the front passenger seat and slid it in. It was actually much heavier than a bass, but my years of transporting a double bass around had finally paid off.

Let's celebrate the knowledge of double bass players!

A knowledge of bagpipes would not have solved this problem.

YES!

NO.

Only a few letters separate each name.

P  ....q  r  s  t  u  v  ...........................W

E ....d  c  b  ........................................A

T  ....u  v  w  x  ..................................Y

E ....f  g  h  i  j  k  l  m  ......................N 

R ....q  p  o  n  m  l  k  j  i  h  g  f  ....E

Yes, we learnt French in 3G in 1966. We were taught by Father Cosgriff. He was a nice chap but a lot of the students gave him a hard time. Having been a teacher for many years and struggling with some classes, I can relate to that. Father Cosgriff's main teaching subject was English, and I suspect that he was as new to French as we students were. Never mind, he did his best. I still remember quite a bit of French. "Le professeur est dans la salle de classe." That's a phrase that always pops into my head when I think of the French language. It's not a very useful phrase if you suddenly find yourself in France.

Here are some much more useful phrases:

Je ne parle pas vraiment français.

J'ai un ami que j'appelle Wayne.

Combien coûte ce champagne fantaisie?
Ok, je vais boire de l'eau.
Avez-vous un Cleanskin?
Son nom de famille est Kerr.

The French actually have two words for 'wanker'. One is for males, branleur, and one is for females, branleuse. See, you learn something every time you visit Richard's Bass Bag.*

Au revoir.

Passe une bonne journée.

* the original bass bagging site / le site original de pêche à la basse

A little bit of help for Christmas.

Okay, Christmas is upon us! Shops are full and finding a car park is a real challenge, but there is still a lot of shopping to do. A lot. Why do we always leave it so late? There is food shopping, don’t forget the wine, last minute Christmas decoration shopping and pressies still to buy. Yes pressies! Who really knows what Uncle Tom would like? We did screwdrivers last year, and humorous socks before that. Humorous socks? You know, socks with funny pictures and funny things written on them like, “No fox given.” With a picture of a fox.

What we need is a simple gift that can be given to everyone.

Well, I think I’ve found it!

It’s a phone app and it’s not expensive.

If you’re making a big meal on the 25th., to feed quite a few people, there’s one thing you’d better stock up on. Toilet paper.

Hang on, don’t panic, let me tell you of a neat gift idea.

THE TOILET PAPER APP!

People just load it onto their phone and then, at ‘clean up time’, they simply use their phone.

As I said, this app is not expensive AND think what you’ll save on toilet paper!

Enjoy your Christmas.

Oh, and next time you use your phone (after Christmas day), don’t hold it too close to your face.

I think that Peter has his toilets all fixed up now.

 

So I can now get back to blogging about other things. It appears that, up north (way up north) you can't sell a house without replacing all the toilets. 

It has been a busy week. It took two full on days to move my daughter and her flatmate into their new abode. The next day was tip day and clean out the shed day.

Then yesterday I spent nine hours looking after my best mate Harrison. It was pissing down, so we had no choice but to stay home (well, in my son's place) all day. We watched The Wiggles and various other popular children's shows.

Everyone on The Wiggles grins all the time. From time to time it would be quite nice to see a pissed off Wiggle. But, no, it's not to be.

I need to get some serious violin and double bass practice done today. I have a bit of catching up to do. 

Well, I guess I'd better get on with it. It looks like Christmas day will be wet here. "No big deal." as the card player with tiny cards said. Though, it would be nice for Harrison to get outside - that would make life safer for my double bass too. 

That's it.

Bye.

The 'King of Style' sends a clear message to Peter as he prepares to head south.

 

Yes, Peter, it's okay to wear a shirt over your t-shirt down here in Wainuiomata and we do tidy up our sheds as well, so don't get a swollen head.

Hey, in Moera they even increase the size of their fish ponds!

No stone is left unturned in Moera.

You've still got some work to do, Whangarei boy.

Okay, okay, it's time to get serious.

 As most of you already know, Peter has the intention to return to Wellington and might choose to settle in Wainuiomata. As most of you have learnt, Peter fancies himself as a bit of a trend setter when it comes to men's fashion.

It's a good job we're talking
about men's fashion because
I honestly can't see old Peter
competing with this.

Peter has presented us with two choices of how he might dress and I'm asking you, dear readers, to help him with his final choice. We'll look at them one at a time.

CHOICE 1, 'learn from the animals':

This is sometimes called the 'Raccoon' look. I can only assume that it is a popular look way up north and maybe the hat gives you some protection when you're fighting at tennis or falling down banks at golf. You will notice that this look does not come with a shirt, but it does allow for a jersey in colder climates. The t-shirt, that is very popular up north, along with shorts and jandals, is a feature. Spectacles are optional, but compulsory on over 65 year olds. The beauty of the head gear is that it can be worn to bed on cold nights but the spectacles must be taken off.

Choice 2, 'welcome to the future'.

You'll be pleased to see that the t-shirt still features and the addition of a cap (not worn the wrong way around) is very cool! Just a note - this outfit won't really work for cigarette smokers or vapers. As you can see, it gives quite a future look that probably wouldn't work in Moera or Wainuiomata. Actually, it could also be a bit out of place in Wadestown or Kelburn, though I can see it working in Naenae and Taita. My only criticism is that the spectacles don't really work with this outfit.

Something like this would
work better.

Okay, this is we need your comments to help Peter make this very important decision. Any explanation you can give that might help would really be appreciated and I'm sure that Peter would be very grateful for your help.

Thank you in anticipation.

Dickery, dickery dobbits.

 Dickery, dickery dobbits,

I'm the man from Murray Roberts.

I'll deliver your grog,

You can drink like a hog,

I'm the man from Murray Roberts.

(slower) Man from Murray Roberts.

Since I spent yesterday and will spend today driving a van around, I thought it appropriate to sing a song that I composed in the early 1970s while delivering booze for Murray Roberts. By the way, I got soaked yesterday while moving some very heavy things. No time to play violin.

Yesterday. Oops, wrong title, this should be Stairway to Heaven!

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west

And my spirit is crying for leaving

In my thoughts, I have seen rings of smoke through the trees

And the voices of those who stand looking

Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

It appears that Peter is, in fact, building a stairway to heaven.

Yesterday Rob and I did some fiddling.





We're practising some pretty tough pieces, so it's quite a workout. Probably as hard as building a stairway to Heaven. Rob and I first did this when we were at primary school. We're also playing a piece that we worked on about the same time when Peter was in 3P. Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. It is certainly not an easy piece, but Rob and I know the 'harmonies' really well. We used to listen to it an awful lot. Still, this old guy finds it a bit of a test. Ah, but it's great fun and a bloody good violin workout.
Thanks Rob.


Today my daughter is moving house, so there won't be much time for fiddling. I'll be driving a van, just like in the Murray Roberts days.

Cool.

 What makes you really cool?

What does being cool really mean?

If you follow this guide, you too can qualify as someone who is really cool.

Definition of ‘cool’:

1. You are ‘punching above your weight’.

2. You make other people feel inferior or inadequate.

3. You are the next best thing to a god.

Tricks to get you there:

· Drive your car slightly (or totally) above the speed limit and, if anyone else is holding you up, get really close to them to give the message, “Get out of this lane!” Hey, fast lanes are for cool people!

· Play really fast licks on the guitar. Show just how cool you are.

· Walk through a supermarket like you own the place. Look stern and in total control. Don’t let anyone get in your way. At the checkout you DESERVE to be first in the queue.

· In a conversation, do not listen to others who are present. If a discussion develops, dominate the conversation. Big words are an asset here because others may lose the message and feel confused. This confusion just serves to push your message. Ah, you have won again! Cool.

· Owning lots of stuff gives you power. Cool people know how to make money. Uncool people finish up on the street or living in cars. Losers!



Things that might stand in your way on your quest to be cool:

· Physics. If you drive very fast and follow another car too closely, you probably won’t have time to stop, and an accident will probably happen, if something goes wrong. At a busy time of the day, this will inconvenience many people. Hey, but a lot of them are losers.

· The magic of music is when something touches your soul. More than often slow music does this, but not always.

· All sorts of people use a supermarket. It’s nice to think that everyone is welcome there and there is not some sort of silly hierarchy. Most of us don’t go to a supermarket to feel superior. We just want to get stuff that we would like to have at home. Think vegetables, soap, toilet paper and, perhaps, wine.

· Listen, listen, listen, if you want to find the best part of a person. Talking and dominating the conversation will put you in a situation where you learn nothing. Everyone has something that they can teach you, even though their lesson might take you a while to really understand.

· At present I’ve been watching a bird in our garden have and raise her young. The nest is low enough that I can look in. This bird is very devoted, and I feel very special to be able to witness this. I can assure you that there is absolutely no money involved. We don’t charge her rent. Technically, having a small nest in one of our trees is lower socioeconomically than living in a car, but this mum is coping very well – I’ve been keeping a close eye on her. She fills my heart in a very special way that I can’t really describe and that would probably cause me to lose an argument with a cool person.

 

Sorry but, I gave up on trying to be cool many years ago. Many, many years ago. Though, to be honest, I wasn’t making it.

Though, on the bright side, I do good ‘dad jokes’.

Three chicks.

 

The nest on our property.

As far as we at Richard's Bass Bag* know, there is no real evidence that Peter Thrush is the father. After all, he lives in a nest that he is decluttering way up north.

Anyway, I thought that he was getting rid of his gumboots. After all, they're hopeless for clinging to a branch.

* the original bass bagging site

And he's buying a stairway...

 

Saint Peter, patron saint of downsizing.

 St. Peter was born into a Catholic family in Wellington, NZ, and raised in Catholic schools. He spent his early years working with communion hosts and trying to get a girlfriend. He never really worked too hard but then he had a vision of having a less crowded house. He even wrote his sacred thoughts down to show how hard he was now working - to saintly levels!

The first statement has baffled many theologians and historians. Some say that wine could have been the driving force behind his new devotion. In the second statement St. Peter questions those who are lazy. He challenges everyone to think about the power of downsizing.

 Let us pray,

When you start work at nine,

Thinking only of tonight's wine,

Wearing only a t-shirt and shorts,

We hear your self-righteous snorts.

You sell some things,

You send out a bill,

Your destiny is a lesson,

Not to cross The Old Girl.

When St. Peter was canonized, the Pope pointed out that he didn't have to be dead because he already was a martyr. The Pope said that he himself had to deal with downsizing once and there were few things in life that could equal this task. The Pope had tears in his eyes.

He finished with this statement, "Once the downsizing is done, there is more room in the house and it is easier to sell. I feel God smiling down on Saint Peter."