"Brett, come on, wakey, wakey, it's nearly six. Don't you start at 7?"

"No mum, no work today. It's Easter Sunday. Any trolleys that haven't been returned properly can stay where they are until tomorrow. I'm going back to sleep."

"Well, why don't you come to Mass with me?"

"No point. Jesus has risen from the dead, so he's all fine. Now let me bloody sleep!" 

"Don't you want to celebrate Jesus and his good news?"

"No. He never helps with the trolleys. Now shut up and go to Mass if you want."

* * *

Buongiorno.

I'm meeting Lynn for lunch today, so I've written down what Peter wants me to say.

"Don't forget to tell Lynn that I was advocating the benefits of house maintenance, domestic cleaning, personal hygiene, moderate drinking, healthy diet and exercise, being early to bed, and the importance of remembering our anniversary." (I tidied up the grammar.)

How it will unfold.

"Hi Shelley, hi Richard."

"Hi Lynn. I read Peter's latest blog this morning. He was, hang on, [takes out a piece of paper] he was advocating the benefits of house maintenance, domestic cleaning, personal hygiene, moderate drinking, healthy diet and exercise, being early to bed, and the importance of remembering our anniversary."

Just a minute, I think I need to be more subtle.

I'll wait until we're sitting in a restaurant.

"Good day, ladies and sir, here are some menus and the wine list."

"Thanks. We certainly won't need the wine list. Three lemonades should do the trick. I hope you've washed your hands before serving us. [looks at a menu] Is this food healthy?"

"Yes, I think so, sir."

"Do you have heath ratings? Will we have to do extra exercise after eating here?"

"I wouldn't imagine so, sir."

"By the way, we're going to use this meal to celebrate this lady's, and her partner's anniversary."

"That's nice sir. Where is the partner?"

"Oh, he'll be busy, at home, doing maintenance and cleaning. He's that kind of a guy."

"Very good, sir. Are you ready to order?"

"Yes, ladies, can you order now? It's getting close to bedtime. You know how Peter likes to get early to bed."

* * *

Peter said this about music practice in one of his recent posts, "Wellington doesn't want regressive posts like violin and double bass practices, Sunday Mass sermon reports, 'what I had for dinner' diatribe, how many times someone used the toilet in the morning and the benefits of posting on Whatsapp and dodgy dating websites."

Oops, I've just had a call to come and help with the grandchildren. Better go.

Ciao tutti.