venerdì 31 gennaio 2025

In the beginning...

 In the beginning there were three entities...

Father

Son


and Bird.


They lived in a place called Heaven and drove around in a big black ute known as God.


How the three of them got together in the first place, no one knows. Maybe because the Father, for whatever reason, looked older than his pal, they found the names amusing? Maybe it just seemed natural to them that one of them was a bird? At this point they obviously were not showing any concern about transgender issues.

Anyway, these three beings were perfect and didn't make mistakes. They also knew the future so, whatever they created, and how it turned out, was really their responsibility - unless they could shift the blame onto someone, or something, else.

"Let's fool around with making some creatures."
said the Father.  


"I'm thinking of sexless creatures. Yes, yes, I know I was excited when I invented sex, but these creatures will be second only to us. We'll call them angels. Hey, I do have this sneaky little scheme that I'll tell you about later."

"Okay." said the Bird.

"I'm in." said the Son. "But tell us now about your scheme."

"Well, okay." said the Father. "First we make these angels, but we rig things so that one of them becomes a bad guy. Obviously, he'll never know what has happened. Then we make a bad place to send him to. Then we make another group of people we'll call humans. We'll use sex so that one is a man, the boss, and the other is a woman - no cock, so how can she be the boss? Remember that these two won't need belly buttons - that'll only become necessary with Plan B. We'll set up a plan for the woman so that she stuffs up and needs to be punished. Now here's the great bit - we create something called Original Sin and stick it onto everyone else who comes along in Plan B!"




"Brilliant!" said the Bird and then he squawked.

The Father carried on. "An important ingredient in all of this will be guilt. I invented that this morning." 

The three of them figured out how all of this could work. The 'fallen angel' would be called Lucifer and sometimes referred to as Satan. His domain would be called Hell and humans who didn't get the point of Original Sin would be sent there, forever. No mucking around. They'd organize a book called The Bible that would set up all the rules. They also discussed a set of rules called The Ten Commandments.


"Hey, Father, I think you've just invented morals!" said the Son with excitement.

The three of them felt ready to go and excitedly took a ride in God. On the way the world was created. 



Then they set to work on the angels and chose the one to be Lucifer.

Their ride in the big black ute lasted for six days. On the seventh day they rested.

"Let's call that a week." said the Bird.

The Son turned some water into Cleanskin and they all chilled out and got a bit pissed.



Yep, that's how it all started. Have faith or you'll be down there with Lucifer.

17 commenti:

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

i overlooked this post at first because I thought it the same one that has been sitting there, unread like a music textbook for a few days.
I looked again later and realised it was a new post disguised with old witterings and used images.
That's it really.

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Enjoy Rheumatici... sorry, Raumati. Happy birthday.

Anonimo ha detto...

I've been to the toilet and it has been funnier than that. Just.

RBB

Anonimo ha detto...

No, I think you're getting confused with your posts. Get a haircut!
Oh, yes, you did.

RBB

Rob ha detto...

Have you thought of becoming a Lutheran? Evidently they also think that everything is predestined.
Could I suggest to you that knowing the future isn't the same as causing future events. There are plenty of examples in everyday life. Weather forecasts, the results of cause and effect (if I let go of a brick it will fall to the ground), looking out your window and predicting that the grass will need cutting next weekend.,,,
Sure it gets very complicated and I've heard Catholic apologists like Trent even struggle to grasp how God could create a world knowing it will go wrong. Personally I think at the core is His willingness to make us with attributes like Himself including free will and, remember he didn't really want us to have the knowledge of good and evil, but we wanted to be even more like God (Eve and the symbolism of the apple).

Anonimo ha detto...

I could see him becoming a luther as a hobby but doubt that Lutherism would suit him. He lives in the ‘now’ you know.
By the way, the second half of your comment makes no sense at all. You should have foreseen that and not written it.

TC

Anonimo ha detto...

I do not really have the skills to be a luthier.

RBB

Rob ha detto...

The beauty of free will is that even though it makes no sense to you, I was able to still write it. Imagine what a boring world it would be if it were predetermined that only sentences that make sense to TC (or to God) were written.

Anonimo ha detto...

It’d be a hell of a lot better one

Anonimo ha detto...

I hope that you drove carefully to Raumati and didn’t tailgate any SVUs and utes going through Transmission Gully. Those guys driving those things have fragile egos so it wouldn’t be Christian to frighten them.

TC

Anonimo ha detto...

I love you Peter.
Okay, okay, let's go with like or tolerate.

RBB

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Yes, best not to make Robert jealous.

Anonimo ha detto...

I love you Cleanskins.

RBB

Anonimo ha detto...

Hey my man!
You cheatin’ on me?

Patti Label

Rob ha detto...

You are my friend. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpFK45IPCO8

Anonimo ha detto...

You're getting more like a woman Rob. Are you trans?

RBB

Anonimo ha detto...

Same post, different day.