In the beginning...

 In the beginning there were three entities...

Father

Son

and Bird.

They lived in a place called Heaven and drove around in a big black ute known as God.

How the three of them got together in the first place, no one knows. Maybe because the Father, for whatever reason, looked older than his pal, they found the names amusing? Maybe it just seemed natural to them that one of them was a bird? At this point they obviously were not showing any concern about transgender issues.

Anyway, these three beings were perfect and didn't make mistakes. They also knew the future so, whatever they created, and how it turned out, was really their responsibility - unless they could shift the blame onto someone, or something, else.

"Let's fool around with making some creatures."
said the Father.  

"I'm thinking of sexless creatures. Yes, yes, I know I was excited when I invented sex, but these creatures will be second only to us. We'll call them angels. Hey, I do have this sneaky little scheme that I'll tell you about later."

"Okay." said the Bird.

"I'm in." said the Son. "But tell us now about your scheme."

"Well, okay." said the Father. "First we make these angels, but we rig things so that one of them becomes a bad guy. Obviously, he'll never know what has happened. Then we make a bad place to send him to. Then we make another group of people we'll call humans. We'll use sex so that one is a man, the boss, and the other is a woman - no cock, so how can she be the boss? Remember that these two won't need belly buttons - that'll only become necessary with Plan B. We'll set up a plan for the woman so that she stuffs up and needs to be punished. Now here's the great bit - we create something called Original Sin and stick it onto everyone else who comes along in Plan B!"

"Brilliant!" said the Bird and then he squawked.

The Father carried on. "An important ingredient in all of this will be guilt. I invented that this morning." 

The three of them figured out how all of this could work. The 'fallen angel' would be called Lucifer and sometimes referred to as Satan. His domain would be called Hell and humans who didn't get the point of Original Sin would be sent there, forever. No mucking around. They'd organize a book called The Bible that would set up all the rules. They also discussed a set of rules called The Ten Commandments.

"Hey, Father, I think you've just invented morals!" said the Son with excitement.

The three of them felt ready to go and excitedly took a ride in God. On the way the world was created. 

Then they set to work on the angels and chose the one to be Lucifer.

Their ride in the big black ute lasted for six days. On the seventh day they rested.

"Let's call that a week." said the Bird.

The Son turned some water into Cleanskin and they all chilled out and got a bit pissed.

Yep, that's how it all started. Have faith or you'll be down there with Lucifer.