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| "Oops, how did I get pregnant?" |
"The Immaculate Conception refers to the belief that from the moment of conception, Mary, the mother of Jesus, was preserved free from original sin. The doctrine was formerly defined by Pope Pius IX in the papal bull (yes, it's called a bull) Ineffabilis Deus on December 8, 1854, after centuries of theological debate."
Guys like St. Thomas Aquinas expressed opposition to the idea, arguing that if Mary were free from original sin, it would undermine the necessity of Christ's redemption sacrifice. For those who don't know, we all got landed with original sin because Eve bit that bloody apple. Then God had to find a way of freeing us all from it. The solution - Jesus must die on a cross. Isn't it obvious? Then he needed Jesus to be born, but he was his son, not Mary's husband's. "I know, an immaculate conception!" God thought. The rest is history.
Confusing? Well, you can probably understand why a certain Marist Brother I knew got a bit muddled.
He'd probably be trying to sort the immaculate conception out in his head. "Okay, technically Mary is with Joseph. However, God is quite happy to plonk a baby inside her. For some reason I would love to touch little boys' cocks. Maybe this is okay too? I'm sure that God wouldn't mind. Hey, it's no more weird than having your own son crucified when all God really needed to say was, "Go away, original sin.""
There you go. That should clear a lot of things up for you.
Have fun boys and, if you need to crucify someone, that's probably okay.
Ciao tutti.
18 commenti:
Good logic.
I still don't get, even if I got the fact that it happened, how Mary managed to produce a baby in 17 days.
Aunty Google tells me that the animal with the fastest gestation period is the stripe-faced dunnart, a small marsupial native to Australia, with a pregnancy lasting just 11 days.
Other animals known for their very short gestation periods include:
Virginia opossum - 12 to 13 days.
Water opossum (yapok) - 12 to 14 days.
Hamster (Syrian) - around 16 days.
Domestic mouse - approximately 19 days.
Maybe Jesus was a cross (pun intended) between a Syrian hamster and a domestic mouse.
Hey, God could have got rid of original sin simply by waving his hand, no crucifixion necessary. I bet he could make a baby quickly, no cock necessary.
Yes, that's possible. Maybe Joseph had got things going the old way 8 months before?
Surely Rob will know the answer.
" Maybe Joseph had got things going the old way 8 months before?"
Bingo!
Give that man a chocolate fish.
I guess that ancient Palestinians and modern Catholics didn't and don't understand things like gestation periods, calendars and ... well, anything logical really.
Of course there is the possibility that Joseph himself dreamed up the whole thing.
He was with Mary, a 14 year old runaway who he'd knocked up.
Maybe Mary's father was a big bruiser and her borothersthe same and who had tracked down Joseph and Mary.
When confronted, Joseph got Mary to say that she was a virgin and that an angel miraculously impregnated her with the seed of god.
I'm assuming that Mary's dad and brothers weren't the brightest candles in the menorah.
https://youtu.be/sTMgX1PDGAE?si=58KR_VtZDBp6XFpU
I think we've got this pretty well covered. Rob will be pleased.
I think you've got it; poor old TC still thinks it refers to making Jesus in Mary's tummy.
Yeah, he was just a god impersonating a baby. Just because his 'dad' didn't want to get rid of original sin. Losers.
The Catholic Church never tires of making up this nonsense and creating silly feast days.
This makes t all clear though:
https://youtu.be/6L7IODgwbaw?si=-gw-yP70SzFkiCcu
If you found that explanation too confusing watch this instead:
https://youtu.be/atbpPi0MgcA?si=0StaIiIiS0x1OMXK
I don't understand how I ever got confused by this 'logic' in the first place.
Now, let's talk about the Easter Bunny ...
I feel a Religious Curmudgeon blog post coming on.
If I'm talking to myself I might as well go over to my own blog.
Hey The Religious Curmudgeon! What's up?
"The Catholic Church never tires of making up this nonsense and creating silly feast days".
No bigotry there.
Not
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