venerdì 15 aprile 2022

The Blessed Curmudgeon.

 Hi, this is Richard (of RBB) and all the news on the blogs is about the new church founded by that man of prayer and religious leadership The Blessed Curmudgeon.

The Blessed Curmudgeon breathing 
his sacred breath over what will be a
very holy, if not somewhat smelly, host.

This afternoon I'll be talking to Angry Jesus to get his views on this exciting new church.

Angry Jesus

Richard (of RBB): Welcome to 'the bag' Angry Jesus. So the guy who was able to help fix my computer after professionals failed has now added the title 'Blessed' to his name. What are your initial feelings?

Angry Jesus: Is there any more wine?

[Richard (of RBB) fills his glass]

Angry Jesus: Well, I suppose the fixing of your computer could be seen as His first miracle. He also knows the three things that can go wrong with a bottle of white wine and I respect that. Remember that years ago I had to replace a whole load of bad shit wine at a wedding by doing a little trick with some water. Though I did hear later that quite a few people at that function got the runs. Hey, except for dad, nobody's perfect. I think a few more miracles should seal it for Him. I could even see people like Robert, that sanctimonious toilet cleaning guy, coming around. Especially now that he has sort of promised to open a church shop.


Richard (of RBB: Okay then, but how long will it take him to get churches up and running all over the country?

Angry Jesus: I think you'll find that The Blessed Curmudgeon works in mysterious ways. One trick He might use is to make free wine readily available in His church. Catholics will like that and most will probably come on over to this new venture. He also will be pulling in money through pledges. I think He could be up and running in three months, especially if He gets those 'freedom' demonstrators on board. I mean, they're out there just waiting for another cause. This one is just too good for them to pass up. Don't underestimate The Blessed Curmudgeon.

Richard (of RBB): Thanks for your thoughts AJ. Here's another wine. I'm off to do some more violin practice. Can you turn the lights off in the studio when you leave and, if you use the bathroom, please don't piss over the floor.

Angry Jesus: No worries.

Richard (of RBB): Sheesh! I hate that phrase! Hopefully The Blessed Curmudgeon will ban it.

Angry Jesus: Sheesh - now there's a holy exclamation. The Messiah has certainly arrived. Sheesh! That'll replace Amen.

"Sheesh!"


2 commenti:

Anonimo ha detto...

I read this post with trepidation .... sorry, with Theresa Predation, my new acolyte.
Tess and I were worried that Angry Jesus would have some scathing things to say about my new church but we're pleased that he endorses the plan.
Hey! Thanks guys for the 'sheesh' idea as a declaration of affirmation at the end of our payers. I will adopt that immediately.

Sheesh!

The Blessed Curmudgeon.

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Just for the record we at The Curmudgeons Inc. practise good oral care using toothpaste, good condition brushes and occasionally mouthwash. Our collective breath is fresh, minty and quite frankly, enticing.