Reasonably Okay Friday.

 All the Christians should be sad because Jesus is up on a cross.

Also, pubs and supermarkets are closed. Well, in some places you can get a drink in a pub if you buy a meal.

Mathew 17, 31: There will come a time when the purchase of Cleanskins will not be possible on this day and you must eat yesterday's food.

James 33,27: Anus was no longer in charge of whatever his job was. Choirfist, his daughter's boyfriend, was in charge now. He was the one who changed the fate of Sheesh! from home detention to standing on a plank with his hands up.

Phillip 44, 71: Anus wiped himself of it all and handed the call to Choirfist saying, "You build something if you want."

Choirfist, and there is evidence to support this, experimented with quite a few different structures. 

Evidence was found of this structure in 1993.

In the end he sort of lost interest and just nailed a couple of planks together. Choirfist was known as a lazy bugger.

Brent 55, 2: Choirfist, who went out with the daughter of Anus, was a lazy bugger who preferred to drink cheap wine.

Here is proof of everything I have told you:

Ian wrote about this in 1994. His writing was recommended by others. Matthew was quoted and so were many very wise men. The wooden structure found in 1993 has been examined by Destiny Church members. There were no rainbow crossings in those ancient times, so no white paint was needed. An ancient old book that contains all these truths (The Dribble) can be confirmed by various other sources, including members of the Taliban. History books will also confirm what I have written here, as will Act party members and some ex-prime ministers. Look, it's true even though some atheists don't like it. Atheists don't know what to believe and even make up their own morals. They won't be so smart when they finish up in Hell!