Wet Spring.

 

No, sorry, I meant something more like this.

I'm trying to get our property tidied up, but it keeps raining. The spring rain is making the lawns grow fast. I also have a big project trying to remove ivy from our back fence. I'm 2/3 there but I'm wanting to get stuck into the worst part. This ivy is like a plague. It climbs up trees and even manages to get under the house. Hey, sorry if this sounds like a post TC would write.

Hey, that's not Peter.
That's Ron the builder!

Ah, that's better. I use the word 'better'
in its widest sense here and not
necessarily to show an improvement.

The rain comes and goes, then it comes again - I think I'll avoid a comparison for that statement.

I wonder if Danie Craven's picture is still in the church shop, or if somebody bought it?

Sister Strapper was happy with her purchase. The young man in the church shop had let her have it for a couple of dollars. He had also thrown in a ham sandwich. She intended to hang Danie over her bed, on the hook that Jesus had occupied for many years. She just felt that she needed a stronger man looking over her. 

Sister Strapper was no spring chicken.

Spring chickens.

Her heyday had been spent in classrooms in primary schools in the 1960s and 70s. She had taken the name 'Strapper' from a little known saint (I'm sure Peter is planning to add this saint to his series on obscure saints) who lived in southern England in the 1600s. Mary Strapper. Saint Mary was canonized by mistake when a canon fell on her from a rather high battlement. The name served Sister Strapper well during her teaching career because she basically strapped any child who moved.

At the time (1600s), the cardinals in Rome were not happy with the way Saint Mary Strapper had become a saint and fought to block her canonization. A young catholic convert named Brenton Hornet turned up and argued her case. He had a unique way of arguing for the time - he used big words that only a few people had ever heard and spoke very quickly. In the end, just to shut him up, the cardinals apologized and let the canonization go through. This is where the term 'Catholic apologist' originated.

On a return visit to the church shop, Sister Strapper reported to the young man who gave her a sandwich that she was sleeping much better since the picture of Danie went up. She donated the picture of the other guy to the shop.