Billy the raccoon.

 

Raccoons are normally found in Northern America. They are the largest animals in what is known as the procyonid* family, and their body length can be from 40 to 70cm. The animal's most distinctive features include its extremely dexterous front paws, its facial mask, and its ringed tail, which are common themes in the mythologies of the indigenous peoples of America surrounding the species. The raccoon is noted for its intelligence, and studies show that it is able to remember the solution to tasks for at least three years.

Graham, who owned a bar in central Wellington, immediately thought of raccoons when a certain individual walked into his bar. Without thinking, be blurted out, 

"Hello, Billy the raccoon!"

The individual who had just walked in looked around and wondered at the remark.

"Are you talking to me?"

"As they say, if the hat fits wear it."

"Oh, I get it, you're making fun of my hat. Well, if there is any similarity between me and that animal, let me advise you that I was once in 3P at St. Patrick's College in Wellington. They say that racoons are smart, so maybe there is a link between us?"

"So, are you a local, Billy?"

"Actually, the name's Peter and I've just returned from many years in the far north."

"Sorry, but I'm going to have to go with Billy. Don't you own a shirt, Billy?"

"Well, racoons don't wear shirts. Even though, with their extremely dexterous paws, they could easily tie a tie when needed."

"You're coming across as a bit of a know all, Billy. Is that the way they dress way up north?"

"You didn't go to St. Pat's by any chance?"

"Nope, Rongotai College."

"And did you actually wear the wrong tie?"

"No, but I could have used help from a raccoon to get my tie on."

Peter thought for a second and then he turned to leave. He had hoped that the locals would admire his dress sense. The Old Girl had not been kind about it, but he had got some encouraging remarks on the blogs. He'd even finished up learning, from a guy who called himself Second Fiddle, about Fess Parker's acting career. 

Peter turned to the barman and said,

"You wait until the weather gets cold and let's see who is laughing then."

Graham mumbled something as Peter left but Peter was too busy thinking of another hat he had at home. Peter took his fashion choices seriously.

* Bloggers around here will love that big word! I wonder if that Horn fella has ever used it?