Hey, Jesus and Mary just appeared to me!

 Would you believe it!

Well, it happened.

I was sitting on our couch and they both walked in. 

I spoke first. "Hey, how did you two get in?"

Then Mary spoke. "My son wants to save you. He knows you got off to a rough start with Brother Benedict and Brother Leon. Sorry about that. Hey, we'd really like to have you on our team!"

Jesus spoke next. He began with a joke. "Jesus Christ! Ha, ha, I thought you'd enjoy that! We're getting tired of our 'suck up' team. There's one guy in a local church of ours who won't bloody well stop swallowing communion hosts. Jesus Christ! Don't get me started on confession. That place was designed for blokes like Leon and Bennie the B! It's normally full of people who are trying to 'buy' a place in Heaven. I'll tell you, it's getting pretty bloody boring up there. I'm having a lot of trouble avoiding Mr. Linford. I know you know him. I feel that humans have missed the point of it all. They buy into all that bible nonsense and that stupid Old Testament. Dad was only practising when he sorted that one. He was new to the job. Come on, why would he want to wipe out every human that he had created with a flood? Actually, he didn't just make Adam and Eve. He kicked things off with about two hundred people." I excused myself, went to the kitchen and poured the three of us a glass of water. Jesus too his and turned it into wine. Then he changed the other two glasses too. Mary said, "Thanks son. Hey, Richard, it's a good drop. 45.5% alcohol. We call it Cleanskin."

If you don't believe what I'm writing here, you're probably evil and will be going to Hell. Tough shit!

So long.