Saint Peter, patron saint of downsizing.

 St. Peter was born into a Catholic family in Wellington, NZ, and raised in Catholic schools. He spent his early years working with communion hosts and trying to get a girlfriend. He never really worked too hard but then he had a vision of having a less crowded house. He even wrote his sacred thoughts down to show how hard he was now working - to saintly levels!

The first statement has baffled many theologians and historians. Some say that wine could have been the driving force behind his new devotion. In the second statement St. Peter questions those who are lazy. He challenges everyone to think about the power of downsizing.

 Let us pray,

When you start work at nine,

Thinking only of tonight's wine,

Wearing only a t-shirt and shorts,

We hear your self-righteous snorts.

You sell some things,

You send out a bill,

Your destiny is a lesson,

Not to cross The Old Girl.

When St. Peter was canonized, the Pope pointed out that he didn't have to be dead because he already was a martyr. The Pope said that he himself had to deal with downsizing once and there were few things in life that could equal this task. The Pope had tears in his eyes.

He finished with this statement, "Once the downsizing is done, there is more room in the house and it is easier to sell. I feel God smiling down on Saint Peter."