The effects of BJ on Sunday and the Roman Catholic church.

 

Presented by Frank the talking fish.

Hi, blurble, blurble, I'm Frank and I'm the most recent addition to The Holy Bible, thanks to BJ. Blurble, blurble. Here are a few changes you can expect around Sunday at the one true church.

1) All priests saying Mass must be dressed as fish. That includes Father Orange. We're finished with fruit.

Father Orange

2) Men working in the church shop

will also be expected to dress as fish. The days when a suit alone was good enough is over.

Robert at the church shop

Any women working, blurble, blurble, in the church shop will be required to dress as mermaids.

Yes, blurble, blurble, I know. It's a shame that most of the women who work in the church shop are getting on in years.

3) We're doing away with vigil Mass, blurble, blurble. Come on the correct day or get a Mortal Sin.

4) The choir and the accompanying musicians will also be required to dress as fish or mermaids.

"Where are the song sheets?"

"Shhh, I'm trying to tune my violin."

We thank BJ for these changes. Fish have always played their part in The Bible. Blurble, blurble. Now we are finally being recognized. Remember that it was Jesus who said, "I'll make you fishes from men." Or something like that. Blurble, blurble.