For Pete's sake!!!

 There were two things that really got on Peter's goat; people who used more than one exclamation mark and the fact that posts about his tennis showdown never seemed to finish.

Peter's goat.

Every Tuesday, at tennis, he had to put up with Kenneth boasting about his tennis prowess and his silly political raves. One Tuesday Kenneth challenged him to another game. Peter was certainly keen, but they found out that the tennis court would be shut next week for maintenance.

Peter had an idea. "Let's meet down at the rugby field. I'm happy to take you on at any game."

Kenneth agreed to meet him there at 11am on the next Tuesday.

Kenneth was there first. He had his regular tennis gear on but had taken the precaution of wearing rugby boots. Peter turned up right on eleven. He was wearing an All Blacks jersey and carrying a ball.

"That jersey looks a bit tight around your belly." laughed Kenneth. "Are we playing one to a team?"

"Yes, and I'm going to referee." replied Peter.

Kenneth lost the toss and had to kick off. Peter managed to get to the ball first but, as he pounded towards the line, Kenneth took him in a rather high tackle. Fortunately, Peter was wearing his fish glasses, otherwise his regular ones would have been knocked flying.

Peter took a whistle from his pocket. He then produced a red card.

"How am I supposed to continue if my one player is sent off?" puzzled Kenneth.

"I don't make the rules. Now, off you go!!!" Peter was so excited that he forgot his 'one exclamation mark' rule.

Kenneth walked with his head down to the sideline.

Peter elected not to shoot at goal. He kicked the ball out just inside Kenneth's 22. Then he threw the ball in to himself and he was off to score under the posts. He missed the conversion from out in front. The crowd (Kenneth) was quiet. By half time Peter had amassed 40 points - all from unconverted tries.

Kenneth sort of had a one man team talk at half time but, with no one returning to the field, it was a bit of a waste of time.

Peter slowed down quite a lot in the second half and the final score was 75  - 0.

They shook hands after the match but Kenneth looked really pissed off.

Peter couldn't wait to tell someone (anyone) about his great victory!!! (There he goes again!)

He decided that he'd probably write a post but then he found out that Richard (of RBB) had beaten him to it. He couldn't wait to see the look on Robert (the quite a few different things)'s face when he heard about the great win. He thought he might not tell The Old Girl because she might think it was silly. 

He was disappointed that his match would not be screened on Sky Sport.

"Small mindedness on their part." he thought.

He was such a happy old man that he decided to spend up to $10 on a bottle of wine.

He was a winner and he was living dangerously.