venerdì 27 gennaio 2023

The plight of The Wine Guy.

 

The Wine Guy has an empathy with Prince Harry, for he also has become a 'spare'. We invited The Wine Guy onto Richard's Bass Bag* to speak for himself.

"Yeah, that picture of me sums it up, how I went from a distinguished wine writer to a piss head. I was one of the first writers to be used by The Curmudgeon Inc. and I was their go to man. They even put me in charge of The Curmudgeon Express. Man, was I busy! 

I wrote about all sorts of wines because I have a huge experience to call on. I wrote about many things. Ha! There was even a time when I was in a bar waiting for a glass of wine, that I had carefully chosen, and this pregnant waitress gave me a beer! I guess I've seen and done it all. 

The Wine Guy in earlier days.

Then suddenly I start to get called less often. I start to notice a pattern. I get these phone calls, "Hi The Wine Guy, it's TC here. Look, I've been kicked out of the office again and we need to make some comments on a couple of blogs. Can you take care of these?" "Hi The Wine Guy. It's me. Look, I'm on a plane to Wellington with The Old Girl. She won't let me go onto the blogs. I'm trusting you to make a few comments on the usual blogs. It's important that we keep up a presence. I don't care what you say, just do it." "Hi The Wine Guy. I'm out of the office again. Just bang out some comments on those two blogs. Oh, and read Robert's latest. It's all about some guy called Brent Horn, or something like that. Don't go on about booze, just be a bit cynical. Try to think like me. Good boy!"

That 'Good boy!' bit really got me. Does he think I'm his dog? Next he'll want me to write about Cleanskins!


I'm just really over being treated like this! Look, I have an extensive knowledge of wine and my posts were pretty popular, even you guys on this blog read some of them. If you have any vacancies at Richard's Bass Bag* I'd be keen to step in. I could share some inside knowledge about The Curmudgeon with you. For instance, did you know that, as a youngster, he used to steal hosts from his school's chapel? I'm pretty sure too that it was him who got caught looking up some girl's skirt at primary school. Dirty little bugger. 

Hey, thanks for this chance to vent my spleen. Sheesh! Actually, it was me who first used that Sheesh! word, not him! Remember that I'm available if you decide to add a wine writer to your team. I'm already planning a post on the three things that can go wrong with a bottle of white wine. It'll be a cracker!"





* the original bass bagging site

7 commenti:

THE WINE GUY ha detto...

What a great post.
I've answered your question with a post of my own.
Thanks for the inspiration.

https://nzwineguy.blogspot.com/2023/01/three-things-that-can-go-wrong-with.html

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Hey! I'm still here - stop talking about me.

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

We normally refer to him as 'The Wine Guy'. Note the capital 'T'.

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

I’ve brought the rain down to Wellington with me.
No need to thank me.

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

You made it!

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Yep, see you at Olive
They don’t take bookings for Sunday lunch but hopefully it’ll be OK otherwise there’s a kazakstanian kebab place I know of ……

Richard (of RBB) ha detto...

There are lots of good places in Cuba St.