mercoledì 29 maggio 2024

Have fun while your guardian angle is away Rob, but don't sin.

 Rob would be on his own for a while because his guardian angle Ron had made a trip back to Heaven.

Lately things are looking 
a bit run down in Heaven.

Ron had received a thought message (like a prayer) from both Archangle Michael and (Angry) Jesus.

Ron

It was important to God, and his son, that Michael kept up 'his' image as a masculine fighter and winner of battles. I say 'image' because angles don't have a sex, only an image.


Michael has already been exposed for a part of 'his' anatomy,

A belly button

but things have just got worse. Really bad, actually.

Ron is walking through the back streets of Heaven when Michael pops out from an alley.

Michael: Ron, it's so great to see you! I've just felt so alone!

Ron: Hi Michael. What's going on?

Michael: I'm pregnant.

Ron: What! 

Michael: I'm pregnant. Look at my belly.


Ron: Shit! Does God know?

Michael: No, but Jesus does. It's only a matter of time.

Ron: Who's the father? Hey, we're supposed to be sexless!

Michael: It's yours Ron. I know, it's complicated. I guess it's just better to have a sex and know what you are. Hey, I can see Jesus coming this way! I'm out of here! Please, can you talk to him?

Ron: Yeah, okay, I guess.

Michael disappears back down the alley.

Ron: Hi Jesus, fancy running into you.

Jesus does not
look amused.

(Angry) Jesus: What the Hell! You two are supposed to be sexless angles! Firstly, we're going to need to organize an abortion. Let's try to keep this to ourselves. You know how dad feels about abortions.

Ron: But who does abortions in Heaven?

(Angry) Jesus: I think this'll need a trip to Hell. They have people down there with the required skills.

Ron: But how did this happen?

(Angry) Jesus: I blame whoever did the painting of Michael.

Ron: What do you mean?

(Angry) Jesus: Look, it gets complicated. The whole premise of angles, creatures who were known as angels until bad grammar demanded that we make some changes, is based on stories that can't really be proven and that can easily fall into the category of myths, or fairytales, if we are not very careful. Things were going along nicely, we have many believers, until you got Michael up the duff. I mean, what were you two thinking?

Ron: I don't know. It was a quiet night in Heaven and Michael popped around with some water that, he said, you had turned into wine and one thing led to another. Hey, why do you call him 'he'?

(Angry) Jesus: Shit! Look, we've got to keep all this from dad. I'll give Satan a call. Let's try to sweep all of this under the rug.


This is enough to make Marie's hair fall out!



To be continued?

9 commenti:

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Yeah, why not. How bad could it get?

Anonimo ha detto...

Ineptias sequitur ineptias.

Richard (of RBB)

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Yeah right.3G guys spouting Latin.
What next - unicorns riding bicycles?

Anonimo ha detto...

Parli Italiano, signor tre urina?

Richard (of RBB)

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

It’s like poking an angry ant with a stick.

Anonimo ha detto...

What have you been up to with your penis? 🥵

Richard (of RBB)

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

Wit in Wainuiomarianland is alive and, well, as you’d expect.

Anonimo ha detto...

Some rascals in Heaven are evidently reciting, "Saint Michael from Venus doesn't have a penus."
Note their bad spelling.

Richard (of RBB)

THE CURMUDGEON ha detto...

I heard:

"St Maurice from Uranus we hope he doesn't cane us".