That's the spirit!

 Peter started the long drive home. He passed familiar names - Tawa, Paekakariki, and then New Zealand's own Fox Town.

It was just after he had driven through Levin (a town that always reminded him of French wine - le vin) that he started to feel a warm sort of presence in the car. Slowly a male figure started to materialize in the front passenger seat. He had holes in his body everywhere - arms, chest, legs - everywhere, but Peter couldn't get his eyes off the guy's face.

The man spoke: I'm the Holey Spirit. God the Father sent me. He couldn't make it because he's busy watching the Olympics.

Peter: But why all the holes and piercings?

The Holey Spirit: Because I'm the Holey Spirit, the third member of the Blessed Trinity. I've brought you a mat. I've put it down by my feet, in the front.

Peter: But it's the back door that needs a mat!

The Holey Spirit: Well, now it looks like Richard might have been right about the mat being near the front door. 

Peter (getting grumpy): Look, why don't you go bother Robert. I don't need you OR your mat! Anyway, where were you when I wanted fancy gumboots?

The Holey Spirit: Well, God, that's the three of us, moves in mysterious ways. Anyway, Robert has just laid a lot of mats at his place. He really doesn't need any more. Check out his blog, there's a picture of them on there somewhere. 

Peter: Sheesh!

The Holey Spirit: Are you using the Lord's name in vain?

Peter: Look, I don't need your help. I'm very happy just to get my own mat and put it where I want it. BY THE BACK DOOR.

The Holey Spirit: You'd better repent for using the name of Jesus to express your anger.

Peter: Look, why don't you bugger off. I'll sort out my own problems. I'm quite happy on my own. I'll drop you at Bulls.

The Holey Spirit (mishearing the spelling): How did parts of your scrotum get into this conversation?

Peter: No, it's a town. B U L L S - like a bull, nothing to do with my cock.

The Holey Spirit: Oh. Well, I find you very ungrateful. Maybe it's better that I help the good folk at Bulls?

Peter (going for a joke of medium quality): That's laugh-a-bull!

The Holey Spirit didn't get the joke.

As they pass through Bulls, The Holey Spirit disappears from the front seat and Peter is pretty sure that he sees him outside The Bull Ring - the local pub. Peter muses that a guy full of holes might be a bit of an attraction in a dull little town like Bulls.

The mat had been left in the front of the car and Peter didn't want to touch it, just in case it was possessed or something. It turned out that Richard would be correct when he referred to a mat at the front door.

It's pretty hard to get one over Richard (of RBB)!