Judgement Day. Part 3.

 It was God's turn to speak and he didn't piss around.

He used His special powers so that He was sort of able to speak to everybody at once, but they all got a personal message and a verdict. Mr. Linford was warned about the way he had treated his wife, but he still just made it into Heaven. Rob was reminded that he got married in a Christian church that was not the one true church and that God was not impressed to see him carrying around a rainbow flag.

Rob tried to explain the flag thing and that June Cleaners' Month was not really associated to his little rainbow flag display. God cut him off halfway through his explanation, but he was allowed into Heaven. God said, "Watch it in future." Robert replied, "Robert chuckles." God mumbled something about him being lucky that Mary had put in a good word for him. 

Father Minto didn't make it in. It was his intention to fix everything up on his death bed with a confession but, unfortunately, he was hit by a bus. Father Minto was sent to the same space in Hell as Peter. God smirked a bit when He announced that. It was unusual for God to smirk.

Richard was sent to a place in Hell where only folk music was played and it was forbidden to play solos that defined each chord. "Harmonic approximation." said God sternly. "That's what you'll be doing for eternity. AND your brother Rob will be sending down harmony lessons." God nearly giggled, but He managed to use all His Godly powers to control Himself.

Probably about a quarter of the billions of people made it into Heaven. A large number were from the American bible belt. Most were allowed to bring their guns. There were rumours that Donald Trump had talked his way in, though no one could confirm or deny this. There was even mention of some plenary indulgences changing hands. It was hard to keep up with who made it in and who missed out. 

Richard, though not looking forward to years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years, and years of folk music, thought that maybe he'd finished up with the better option. He remembered his mother's words, "I don't think I want to go to Heaven if Mr. Linford will be there."