Judgement Day. Part 5.

 

The phone rang and Father Minto answered it.

"Hello. Okay, just a minute. It's for you Pete."

"Hang on, I just want to be sure that my pants are firmly on before I come over there."

Peter took the phone. He was careful to keep his distance.

"Hello."

"It's Richard here. I'm a few receptacles down from you evidently. Hey, these phones are very 1960! So, who's in your team?"

"Hi. Yeah, well, I'm with someone you'll know. Think whisper, roar. I'm sharing a unit with Father Minto. [whispers] Holy Hell!"

"Bloody Hell! Bad luck. Has he tried anything on with you?"

"Well, he's very cunning, you've got to watch your back all the time. Who are you with?"

"Ha, ha, you won't believe this, they're all pretty young women and they keep coming on to me. It's a bit of a pain because I'm trying to locate a violin to get some practice done."

"I'll swap!"

"Well, at least you've got a buddy. I'll leave you, and your boyfriend there for today. I want to give Rob a call in Heaven."

Rob chuckles.

"Ah well, say 'hi' from me. Looks like he got the better end of the stick. Maybe he was right about Father Cockhim. Or is that who I'm stuck with?"

"Okay, catch you soon. Keep your pants up."

Richard rings Rob's number.

"Bring, Bring."

"Hello, this is Mister Linford. Who is it?"

"This is Richard ringing from Hell. Is it possible to speak to Robert?"

"You know you're not supposed to ring Heaven. Look, just this once I'll let you talk to your brother. He HAS told me all about you and how you really let God down. Robert!"

A little time passes.

"Hi, Robert here."

"Hi Rob, Rich here."

"Hi Rich, how's Hell?'

"Warm, but okay. I'm rooming with about twenty gorgeous young ladies, which is a bit of a pain because I want to sort out a violin and do some practice."

"Who is Peter with?"

"Well, let's just say that he keeps his pants pulled well up. What are you doing so close to Mr. Linford?"

"He's my roommate."

"Do you remember what mother said about him?"

"Yes, yes, I know. Unfortunately, I think she was right. I've prayed to Mary to be moved to a different room, but she says everything is full up right now."

"So, have you got one of the old 1960s phones too?"

"No. Everything is very modern up here. We have the latest mobile phones. Mr. Linford seems to struggle with his. Actually, he keeps trying to call mother, but she won't answer. I wonder if she's in Hell?"

"Ah well, I'd better leave it there for today. I guess we all get what we deserve. Mother certainly talked some sense. I'll keep an eye on Peter. Ha, ha, it's like being back at school for him. Hey, I talked to Satan and, evidently, they have a violinists' room. Looks like I might be able to get moved there. Fingers crossed. It's pretty hard here with all these young ladies. You enjoy your time with Mr. Linford. Ciao."

Robert chuckles and hangs up.