An alternative look at Christmas and the dangers of punning.

 The 25th of December was not Johhny's favourite day and he blamed his mum Mercy for this.

Mercy was a small woman who had married Bert Loud, a dairy farmer who liked to pun. For example, he often said of his wife, "She's a small Mercy." Because of her environment, with milking going on every morning, Mercy got interested in making cheese. Soon she was making camembert, havarti, brie, parmesan, mozzarella, colby, cheddar and cottage cheese. 

Her cheeses were a huge hit the local country markets and it wasn't long before shops were offering to sell her wares. She called her product Loud Cheeses.

Johnny was a teenager when his friends started ribbing him. They'd attended the local Catholic church. The priest gave a sermon about enterprise and how successful deeds were inspired by God and his son. Without thinking, the priest finished off with a statement that was inspired by Mercy's endeavour.

"Thank the Lord Jesus for Loud Cheeses."

After that morning Johnny was a marked man and all of his teenage mates called him Loud Cheeses. The name followed him around for years. The Christmas period was a particularly bad time for him. It was a reminder to anyone who had known him or had heard of the name calling. 

Eventually, when Johnny was in his late thirties, he moved to America to escape the punning. He unwittingly moved right into the bible belt. 

Fortunately, the Christians in this area had no sense of humor (American spelling) and he was saved.

See, this story has a happy ending.

"Thanks be to Cod."  

As Bert Loud liked to say.