Noah's Ark and the problem with the Philistines.

 

John 2.1: Okay, let's clear up the Noah thing first. God did not order Noah to build a big ship. That was another biblical translation problem. Noah had developed a bit of a passion for an early instrument that was not unlike the violin. Noah was plucking this instrument.

God appeared to Noah and said, "I want you to build an arco."

He wanted Noah to build a bow, God was probably thinking similar to a violin bow. God was not happy with that plucking sound and knew, in His infinite wisdom, that a bow would sound better. All the boat and animal stuff was simply made up by a dumb biblical writer who got the wrong end of the stick.

God has taken a bit of flack over the centuries for wiping out the Philistines. In reality the Philistines were an uncouthly lot. 

They lacked good manners, refinement and grace. They didn't understand art and only listened to badly played music. In fact, the instruments they used had no means of being tuned. They also bought into conspiracy theories. There was a common belief among them that Lucifer was smarter than God and that God had only sent him to look after Hell because He was scared that Lucifer might take over Heaven. They also wore hats that looked like brushes. Very uncool!